21 Jan 2015 (32 days after The Day)

So I've been thinking on a poem called the The Guy in the Glass by Dale Wimbrow (c) 1934.  It goes like this:

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass. 

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend. 

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye. 

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

I think on this poem as it relates to my healing.  I am constantly asking myself if I am being true and honest with myself.  When it comes to healing I hope I can help my kids heal and more importantly give them resources to help themselves.  I also hope I am a friend to the Guy in the Glass.  I think all to often we can get pulled into being or doing things to please others.  I suppose this relates back to my wife's desire to be authentic and not respond to patterns that people carry.  It is funny how her life has been a huge help to me in my personal growth.  It is like we seek out companions that can strengthen us.  I have seen this in companions of my friends and associates.  We jokingly refer to our spouse/companion as "our better half" when in reality each of us has both good and bad attributes.  Both make us who we are.  Not just one.  Not just the other.  We all have potential that is limitless and it is on this that I ponder and hope I can be all that I can be.

6:00 pm -

Tonight I have a daddy-son date with Ammon.  I think we are going out for an ice-cream at Sonic.  We normally pretend we are in a spaceship as we sit and eat our treat.  Emma and Madilyn have a church activity tonight so after Sonic I will go and pick them up.

I have thought a lot on Jan today and the companionship she offered.  She and I would just talk and I suppose I am just realizing how much that meant to me.  Even if we didn't talk much we would just sit together on the couch and watch a show.  I miss that.  She would call me a "big dork" because the kids and I would laugh at silly things and Jan wouldn't.  I swear that still makes me smile today.  That to me takes more control to not laugh when everyone else is!  Ah... anyway, fun memories.