26 December 2020 (6 years, 6 days after The Day)

 So Christmas went well.  It started the night before with me attempting to get kids off to bed and presents brought out and placed under the tree.  We watched the beginning of the 1960's cartoon of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer until it was time for Claire to head to bed. Once she was in bed we watched the 1954 version of White Christmas (starring Bing Crosby) with everyone.  Once those activities were done Samantha went to work making cinnamon rolls and I began arranging presents and stockings.  One of the things Samantha picked up was a set of wooden puzzles to put into the stockings.  I was haphazardly holding the one for Ammon when it fell apart in my hands.  After youtubing the answer, attempting multiple times to solve it, and swearing to myself to never do that again, I was able to successfully assemble it.  We finally got to bed around midnight.  At 2:40 am Claire came into the room asking if it was time to get up.  This happened again at 6:15 and again at 6:40.  When we finally managed to get ourselves out of bed Samantha headed downstairs to bake the homemade cinnamon rolls she made the previous night.  The kids all arose and we went into the living room for the grand reveal.  The kids began opening their presents and stockings and then we enjoyed the very unhealthy breakfast.  It was "so choice" as Ferris Bueller would say.  It seemed that after we were loaded with sugar and fat we all slept.  Everyone kinda did their own thing and I decided it was as good a time as any to remove some weeds from my backyard.  These are not just any weed.  They are like angry dandelions.  The actual name is "Scotch Thistle".  It is the only plant that had me seriously consider setting my lawn on fire.  

it starts off like this

And you think... no big deal.  Just a weed.

Then it sprouts up looking like this

And you think.... I need to go get rid of that thing.  It is completely covered with spikes. 

If left neglected it can grow between 8-12 feet tall.  These are images from a google search but do represent the craziness of the plant.  

My home is close to some open land and there is an infestation there.  The seeds blew to my property and I had some that were about 7 feet tall by my fence line at the back of my lot.  Anyway - it is a place I don't frequent much so I decided to serve an eviction notice and remove these plants.  The trick is how to remove them.  The thistle is so sharp that they pierce leather gloves without any difficulty.  So to address this, I have to use a 25 lb digging bar that is about 5 feet long to jab below the plant and loosen the soil.  In this process I attempt to get below the plant and pry it up enough to grab the root (good luck) while not getting skewered.  This took about 3-5 min per plant.  I finally removed the plants and made a pile of them.  I now have the challenge of trimming each one enough to get them in the trash can.  

I walked into the house to the heavenly aroma of seafood gumbo.  I don't know how to describe this but it seems that the smelling of certain foods can trigger fond memories.  This smell reminded me of my grandparents home.  Samantha was finishing up her family gumbo recipe and the kitchen smelled divine.  After getting cleaned up after serving the eviction notice of the thistle, Samantha asked if I had a recipe for pecan pie.  Before I attempted to find a recipe online I looked through a bunch of my Grandmother's church recipe books.  The Methodist church she attended would collect recipes from all around the Czech community (Crosby, Tx) and publish them.  My grandmother would gift these books to us as kids and I have many in the cupboard.  Anyway - I found a recipe and was delighted to note that it is the recipe of my great aunt Ruby.  Ha!  Anyway - I think everyone liked it... today there are only two slices left.  The gumbo didn't turn out like Samantha wanted but it was still good to me.  She purchased a Honey Baked ham earlier in the week so the entire meal consisted of the ham, gumbo, potato casserole, french bread (that was buttered and toasted), and a salad.  Everyone rolled away from the table when they were done!

Later in the evening we got a chance to video chat with Alex and Dylan at the same time.  It was so good to see them.  After getting caught up on things and spending time with the family we put Claire to bed on a spare mattress in my bedroom to make room for Emma and her family who where in route to our home.  Shortly after this, Emma Jane and Spencer arrived with Hayes.  That kid is so cute!  We visited for a while and then everyone went to bed. 

Today has been a lot of visiting.  I enjoy catching up with them and have really enjoyed everyone being together.  I wish Alex and Dylan were with us but they will be in the coming years.

Well - Until later - 

  

24 December 2020 (6 years, 4 days after The Day)

 Christmas Eve 2020 seems to be more like a random Thursday of the week.  Our Christmas tree is up, presents are wrapped, and activities planned; however, the pandemic has made our activities a little lackluster as we strive to minimize contact.  Samantha's parents asked what we were doing for supper on Christmas and Samantha responded by saying "Wendy's".  I mean, when we just have immediate family over it is like a normal meal.  The kids seem to not care what we place in front of them and why should we kill ourselves in the kitchen only for the kids to respond with a "meh".  With the polarization of political views, views on national policy, COVID, etc I think the entire world is already counting down for 2021 with a hope that it brings less drama.  All I know is the pandemic coupled with my knee surgery has resulted in my weight loss reversing course.  I not only fell off the bandwagon but I ended up running the opposite direction.  It is discouraging for sure.  So - I am left with the following:

1. starting over trying to figure out how to integrate physical activity into my life when my normal lifestyle doesn't naturally include it.
2. pondering how it is possible for one to work so hard for months to "get in shape" and reverse course only taking weeks.  I feel it is like an incline.  You have to work to get up the hill and if you stop you fall back down very quickly.  I understand fully why some are like.. well - screw it... I'm ok with where I am at.

Claire has been having tantrums lately.  I believe it is because she is tired.  We are changing her diet to a reduced sugar diet.  The meds she is taking for seizures have side-effects of anger.  The neurologist suggested adding a supplement of vitamin B6.  This has helped tremendously but lately it seems she gets into fights with Ammon over the most mundane things.  Something like the following;

(Ammon) The Christmas tree is pretty.

(Claire) No, I said it was pretty!

(Ammon) I just said I liked it.  Why are you shouting?

(Claire) STOP SHOUTING AT ME!  ... MOM, AMMON IS SHOUTING AT ME!!!

(Ammon) ??

Poor Ammon gets the wrath of Claire on a constant basis.  He has a tendency to stand his ground which just prolongs the dumb disagreements they have.  I have found that with Claire these episodes are generally because she is either tired or hungry.  Samantha and I are trying to help her be more aware of her and help her eat or rest when she is needing it.

I picked up Emma Jean from college yesterday.  She got her grades back from the first semester and the lowest grade was an A-.  I am not surprised and am very happy for her.  She had a handful of tough classes so these were not easy A's.  Madilyn and Ammon both did well in their classes.  They turned their grades around to end on a positive note.  I am very pleased with their efforts.  It is weird with both Alex and Dylan gone.  We miss them.  Emma Jane, Spencer, and Hayes will be here tomorrow.  We always look forward to their visits.  Hayes is just a seriously cute kid.

So, yesterday, there was an issue at work.  I am taking this week and next on vacation; however, the issues in technology are generally woven into a ton of other processes and because technology never takes a vacation, it requires everyone to get involved regardless of the holiday schedule.  Resolving these problems requires looking past the symptoms to discover the root cause.  This problem solving effort often mandates a lot of individuals with various skills to combine together to find and address the issue. With so many people on vacation, I often feel like Dave in the image below as the end-user is generally wondering why a problem isn't being solved faster.

I believe technology integration with business systems is only increasing as time goes on.  No longer is there a filing cabinet, pad of paper, and a pen.  There are integrated systems that work together.  These systems decrease errors, improve efficiencies, and standardize processes to the point that people forget about how they work.  They are similar to the air conditioning system in your home.  You just don't think about it.  You only do when the AC doesn't work and then you have to call in someone to figure out why it isn't working.  The challenge with business systems and their integration with technology is there generally isn't a single person who knows the entire landscape.  These integrations are customized and not standard.  Even though these problems are complex I find the problem solving process invigorating as I work to better understand why something is awry.

I know I don't talk about work much but I figure from time to time it really is part of my life and not writing about it is a disservice to what this blog represents.

Well - it is 10:21 am.  I suppose I should get up and get going.  Until later - 

    

21 December 2020 (6 years, 1 day after The Day)

 I have really held in not writing.  I suppose this online blog is in many ways like a journal.   A journal is in many ways an outlet for me to process things.  I often reflect on the Harry Potter books where the wise old wizard Dumbledore used a pensieve to capture memories.  He would hold his wand to his temple and extract the memories as a silvery strand that would fall into a shallow basin (the pensieve) allowing him or others later to view the memories and relive them as if they were there.  While it would be nice to extract memories this way I have found that writing them down does the same thing.  It forces me to write them in a way that they will be received by you in the way I am trying to convey.  It forces me to think empathically.  Anyway - This time of year is always a difficult time for me.  I relive all the crap I went through.  

During that time in my life the Rongey family was very close to Jan and the kids.  At Jan's funeral I was a mess and asked Kurt Rongey to read what I had put together.  I knew I wouldn't be able to get through it myself.  Anyway - a few days ago I found a facebook post by Kurt regarding a gofundme post online that their 9 year old daughter, Juilianne, is fighting a form of cancer that is very rough and is inoperable.  She was close friends with Ammon and I hate to see others that I know experience the helpless feeling that accompanies life events like this.  You want to do whatever you can.  You wish you had a magic wand to magic away the pain that is so evident.  The pain that has no "fix" and one that has people praying for God to intervene.  There is no cake to bake... no yard to mow... no money to give that can make up for the pain caused by life events.  I think that is why Christ wants us to "mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort".  I don't know the Rongey's financial situation but if you can give, please consider it.  This type of treatment is expensive even with insurance.

As I reflect on this type of life lesson I am reflective of all I received during the time of Jan's passing.  There were so many that gave in so many ways.  Some in forms of service.  Some gave in monetary ways while others gave by just being there for me and my family in our darkest of hours.  This silly blog was a way for me to extract those memories and was therapeutic for me.   I really dislike December.  That is what has happened to me with these life events.  I feel bad for my kids since they have a tainted view of December just as I do.  I try to put on a happy face but it is a tough month.

Claire turned 6 yesterday.  I was excited for her and yet I was sad.  I still am.  She got a clock to help her know when it is ok to get out of bed in the morning.  She had one of her friends come over to play today.  I spent a couple of hours playing hide and seek with them when Claire and her friend couldn't agree on the game to play.  Fun memories.  

I think everyone in the world is ready for 2020 to be over.  It is hard for me to process that it has been 6 years.  Sometimes I feel like my old self was just a stranger to me now.  I wonder what it will be like seeing Jan again after so many years have passed.  

    

13 October 2020 (5 years, 9 months, 24 days after The Day)

 Today I feel like I accomplished a lot.  I have had a challenge at work that makes it difficult to logically work through.  I have a set of data that was mixed together with another set.  The challenge I have is creating a way to logically split the data to appropriate owners consistently.  Anyway - I know... boring.  I created an algorithm today to do this and it took a while.  It is always nice to wrap up ongoing challenges. This was one that kept me up at night.  

Every day I drop off and pick up Claire from the bus stop.  I have worked from home for the last few years.  I have always had interaction with kids during the day; however, COVID has introduced a new dynamic at the house.  I find myself working more and at odd times.  (i.e. at the bus stop, at dinner, at night before bed, etc.)

These days at school the kids seem to get as many times to retake something that they want.  It is insane.  Am I the only one who feels this is a tremendous disservice to our children?  At work if someone turns in junk I will wonder why they did and expect it fixed the next time.  I'm not talking about working with someone who is honestly trying to improve.  I'm talking about daily tasks.  It seems in school daily tasks (quizzes, tests, homework, etc.) can be redone an infinite amount of times.  Because of this I have seen my kids not take their grades seriously.  It is frustrating.  I think you should sign your name to whatever you turn in.  You should own your work.

This weekend I will be celebrating my 5 year anniversary of my marriage to Samantha.  How crazy is that?  Time has flown by.  At times I don't recall my life previously and look at my memories as if I am a stranger.  I look at Ammon who was 6 at the time Jan died and how he doesn't have a lot of memories of Jan today.  I then look at Claire and wonder if I died if she would remember me.  I strive to do my best daily and I am sure when the dust settles when we are all dead and living in Heaven this will all be addressed; however, at the current time I wonder about it.  I wonder what legacy I am leaving my kids.  When my father passed, it was a bit of a relief.  He and I weren't on the best of terms and he would often bring drama into his interactions.  I have found that as the years pass my negative feelings toward him have lessened.  I hope that my shortcomings as a father will be looked over in the same way.  I suppose for me that is what I want the most.  I want to be a good dad.

Well - until tomorrow.

12 October 2020 (5 years, 9 months, 23 days after The Day)

 Today I struggle with the pandemic, with the mask restrictions, with the political unrest, with the social strife, with the difference in reality between now vs. the way life was prior to all of this.  I feel like the media is making a deliberate effort to make the situation worse.  After all - here is reality from the CDC

The frustrating thing on this is how many news reports talk about heart disease?  The Mayo Clinic online posted the following as risk factors

(https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20353118)

Risk factors for developing heart disease include:

• Age. Aging increases your risk of damaged and narrowed arteries and weakened or thickened heart muscle.
• Sex. Men are generally at greater risk of heart disease. However, women's risk increases after menopause.
• Family history. A family history of heart disease increases your risk of coronary artery disease, especially if a parent developed it at an early age (before age 55 for a male relative, such as your brother or father, and 65 for a female relative, such as your mother or sister).
• Smoking. Nicotine constricts your blood vessels, and carbon monoxide can damage their inner lining, making them more susceptible to atherosclerosis. Heart attacks are more common in smokers than in nonsmokers.
• Certain chemotherapy drugs and radiation therapy for cancer. Some chemotherapy drugs and radiation therapies may increase the risk of cardiovascular disease.
• Poor diet. A diet that's high in fat, salt, sugar and cholesterol can contribute to the development of heart disease.
• High blood pressure. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can result in hardening and thickening of your arteries, narrowing the vessels through which blood flows.
• High blood cholesterol levels. High levels of cholesterol in your blood can increase the risk of formation of plaques and atherosclerosis.
• Diabetes. Diabetes increases your risk of heart disease. Both conditions share similar risk factors, such as obesity and high blood pressure.
• Obesity. Excess weight typically worsens other risk factors.
• Physical inactivity. Lack of exercise also is associated with many forms of heart disease and some of its other risk factors, as well.
• Stress. Unrelieved stress may damage your arteries and worsen other risk factors for heart disease.
• Poor hygiene. Not regularly washing your hands and not establishing other habits that can help prevent viral or bacterial infections can put you at risk of heart infections, especially if you already have an underlying heart condition. Poor dental health also may contribute to heart disease.

Seems like most of the attributes above are being exacerbated by COVID.  Wonderful.  

So - today was a juggling day at work.  You know... lots of things... lots of different activities.  The day ended with me ready for a break.  We ordered pizza.  Madilyn visited Emma at college and I just collapsed in a chair.  I removed a bunch of fencing that was left in our back yard.  This was all wire fencing with a top wire that was barbed.  I used my grandfather's fencing tool and it still works like a champ.  Yesterday I played some songs I had recorded for Madilyn of Jan singing.  It has been a long time since she heard these and just wept.  I think we just forget someone's voice after a while.  It was good hearing her sing.

I am getting people ready for bed so I am signing off for the evening.  Until later - 

29 September 2020 (5 years, 9 months, 10 days after The Day)

 I end the day watching "O Brother, Where Art Thou?".  I have always enjoyed this movie.  The book references make me laugh out loud and I don't think the actors they chose could have been better.  

I have found myself at work juggling new concepts at work.  This forces me to learn and master new things.  I have always enjoyed learning.  I feel I have a thirst for it.  An unquenchable thirst for knowledge.  I value that.  

Anyway - Claire came into my office today when I was in a conference call with tears streaming down her face.  She found out that Macho (Madilyn's fish) died.  She was so sad.  I tried to juggle the conference call and comfort her at the same time.  I hate it when my kids are in pain.  I'm sure every parent feels this way.

I sure miss the other kids in the house.  A quiet house can be so lonely.

28 September 2020 (5 years, 9 months, 9 days after The Day)

 Today, Samantha and I dropped off Alex at the Airport.  He had a 3 hour flight to Washington DC to start the 1st leg of his mission.  I found this difficult.  The time with Emma Jane before she married was quick. The time with Dylan before he left was a bit longer but the time with Alex gave me an him an opportunity to get to know one another.  Today it was tough wishing him well and seeing him off at the airport.  I hope he is able to get acclimated to the work and lose himself in it.  

With Alex moved out the house is just different.  Madilyn worked tonight so it was just me, Samantha, Ammon and Claire.  We had dinner and it was just so very different without everyone else in the house.  I suppose this will be the new normal.  That phrase is irritating to me because I am not one to embrace change.  I find it difficult at times to accept a new reality.  

The pandemic has introduced new challenges at work.  I think working from home is an adjustment for anyone.   I suppose this too is the "new normal".  

I baked some cookies tonight.  They will go in the mail tomorrow to Dylan for his birthday.  Samantha used a vacuum sealer on them and .... now they are a brick cookie.  She asked if I thought that was ok.  I told her I think it will taste the same.

Anyway - this new atmosphere here in the house is going to take a moment to adjust to.  I suppose Samantha and I were just accustomed to loud teenagers in the house.  

Until later - 

27 September 2020 (5 years, 9 months, 8 days after The Day)

 I just felt like I have had a ton of comments bottled up because of the pandemic and the polarization of political views that has society ripped apart.  I am so tired of all the politics.  I am tired of hidden agendas.  I am just wanting people to stand for what is right.

The issues with police I believe need to be corrected with training... not expulsion.  I am without words when Seattle hired a former pimp as a "street czar" to offer "alternatives to policing".  I feel this is lunacy.  I am not the only person who has been in contact with a cop who acts like a jerk.  I also have family, friends, and neighbors who are police officers.  I can appreciate the chaos they deal with when engaging with the public.  This is no longer the local sheriff to help bring order.  This is mob mentality.  I feel the only place I find peace is in the scriptures.  

My stepson, Alex, leaves for his mission tomorrow.  It is sobering to think he is old enough to serve and yet my oldest stepson, Dylan, will be coming home off his in like 10 months.  I remember when these boys were just kids.  It is crazy to see them get older.  My oldest daughter, Emma, is juggling college and she has a tendency to burn the candle at both ends and I worry about her ability to stay sane and juggle the work and school load she has.  Madilyn's fish died today.  It was a sad moment.  I wish I could take pain away from my kids.  I hate to see them hurt.

With the pandemic causing everyone to be at home coupled with my inability to move much because of my knee has caused me to gain a lot of the weight I worked so hard to lose.  I have refocused my efforts to become more healthy even if I am bound to the house.

I decided to mow a neighbor's lawn to help them out since they had to relocate to Germany for the military.  I have really enjoyed taking their lawn and turning it into something trimmed and beautiful.  So - every Saturday I mow and every Saturday I get a little more exercise than I would otherwise have gotten.  

Our home has a short back yard and a larger side yard.  This yard doesn't have grass yet so it is prone to become overgrown with weeds.  I spent an hour mowing this area... just this area.  The weeds were knee high so the progress was slow.  It looks much better now.

We had a forest fire on the mountain behind our home.  It came about 700 meters from our home.  It was enough to scare the crap out of us.  We had bags packed and were ready to go.  Luckily the fire department was able to control it.  We didn't sleep much that night.

I am going to step away from social media for a while.  I have found it makes me depressed.  I find myself glued to the phone and this has got to stop.  The relationships with my family are suffering because of it.

I am tired.  I feel I am just pulled in so many directions and have lost myself in the parenting process.  I feel I am not much to my kids these days because of it.  Both Samantha and I go day after day just trying to ensure everyone is getting their stuff done and they are safe.  We are both tired.

It is 10:30 at night and just writing all this down is helping me.  So - until tomorrow -   

03 Aug 2020 (5 years, 7 months, 15 days after The Day)

I feel like much has happened since my last entry.  I feel it is an injustice to vomit all my memories but I feel that is the only way I can get it all out.  Here are some highlights.

• I had surgery on my knee.  There was a bit of physical therapy and I pushed myself through all exercises striving to go further than every requirement.  If they asked for 5 reps I would do 7.  I was able to get through PT in about 70 days.  I still have difficulty getting to my knees but I feel more stable on my knee than I have since 2014.
• Claire had a seizure.  This was similar to the one she had a few months back and we went to a child neurologist.  He ordered an EEG and during that procedure they were able to induce another seizure.  With this new info she is on some meds to treat them.  The objective is for her to be seizure free and according to the results of the EEG unfortunately these have occurred while she has slept so we don't know how many she has had.  These new meds have helped but the side-effects are anger issues.  We have added a vitamin supplement and that has changed her back to normal overnight.  So - in a few days she will go to get an MRI so we will know more about what is causing the seizures.  It is likely she will deal with this for some time so I am glad the medication is helping her.
• Emma is preparing for college.  That is tough for me to process.
• I am a grandfather now.  My eldest stepdaughter gave birth to a baby boy.  This new role is an adjustment.  What should I be called?  I get to pick my "name".  Grandpa, Paw Paw, Poppy, etc.  I suppose I will answer to whatever I am called.  All I know is I love this little boy.  He is so precious.
• Madilyn is about to be 16.  I feel like she and all the kids grew up overnight and I missed so much.
• I really hate the pandemic of COVID-19 coupled with the media's hype surrounding it.  I feel it is being treated like "cooties" making the entire public panic and giving them the impression that catching this virus is a death sentence for everyone.  
• I have had some changes at work.  Through some restructuring I am now working for the parent company.  This has brought challenges of their own and I am working through them.  I feel this pandemic has accelerated many changes in companies as they strive to improve their ability to weather this storm.
• I realize that I am not a farmer or a gardener.  I have planted both food and shrubbery and both seem to be dying.  I am learning but it is disheartening to plant something with every hope of it flourishing only to see it wither and die.  I have learned that the soil is foundation of life and it is vital that the soil is good for anything to grow, unless of course it is a weed.  It can grow is the most worthless soil around with very little water and complete neglect.
• I have attempted to move a boulder with Alex.  I secured it with a rope and drug it with a pickup truck to the area where I needed to lift it about 5 feet to put it on top of the existing boulders.  Regardless of my past abilities and even with Alex's help moving this rock proved very difficult.  It still remains at the bottom of the pile of rocks where I am determining how to get some machinery to assist.
• My sister, brother-in-law, her two kids, and my mom drove up to visit from Texas.  It was so nice to catch up with them.  It was the first time my sister has been up here and I really enjoyed our visit.  I wish we lived closer.  
• I'm battling wasps outside.  They are everywhere.  I don't know where the nest is but they are everywhere.

So - that is what is off the top of my head.  I will pick it up later and add to this but for now that is the update.

10 May 2020 (5 years, 4 months, 21 days after The Day)

Happy Mother's Day!  Today I have reflected on all the blessings I have in my life because of Mothers.  As I reflected on all the sacrifices my mom has made, I reflected on the sacrifices most mothers make.  They are the CEO of the family and ensure everything gets done.  I owe so much to my mom's setting a good example for me to follow when she had every opportunity to be frustrated with the cards dealt her in life. I have reflected on her composure and perhaps her example above all is what helped guide me through handling dark times with my kids when I felt absolutely alone.  I think of mom's who sacrifice professional aspirations, income, and a fair bit of sanity raising us all.  It amazes me that moms can remain calm and composed during the most chaotic times.  I don't know how mom's do this but it never ceases to amaze me.  I think of mothers like Jan who pay the ultimate price in giving their lives for their children to be born.  I think of mothers who stand in and become a mom to children they did not deliver, like Samantha.  Thank you to all the moms out there who give their best.  The sacrifice affects generations to come.

On a non-Mother's Day note - I tore a bunch of tendons in my left knee a few weeks ago when I stepped off a trampoline back to the ground.  I go in for surgery next Friday.  I'm not a fan of surgery but at the same time I cannot see living with my knee the way it currently is.  Apparently when I landed it bent the wrong way (bent inside).  I walk around like a serial killer or maybe a zombie in a movie.  Slow and dragging a leg behind him.  So - this made me reflect upon all the kung-fu movies where someone makes someone's knee bend that way and then the bad guy gets up and keeps fighting.  Um... that's fake.  I've never had an injury so completely sideline my life.  I am thankful that the COVID-19 pandemic is granting me the time to recover at home.

Emma is struggling a bit with Mother's day.  She and Madilyn went to the park for a moment.  I wish I had a magic wand to take their pain away.

Until later -

11 April 2020 (5 years, 3 months, 23 days after The Day)

So my family and others from many faiths participated in a fast yesterday to pray for those affected by the COVID-19 virus as well as the world economy during this time of lockdown.  Many have lost jobs and I hope those that have can get back on their feet soon.  Many have lost loved ones to this virus and anytime someone loses a loved one unexpectedly you find yourself in uncharted territory.  It is humbling enough to deal with that but combining that with an economy that is rough has created an environment that is difficult for many.  My thoughts and prayers are with all.  I hope we can emerge ok when the dust settles.  This moment has made me reflect on my family, friends, and coworkers as I hope all can weather this storm.

For a family event my kids shaved off my beard.  They took turns with the clippers.  They had fun but it takes a few weeks for the beard to grow back.  I am one week down and Samantha says I am still in the "scruff" stage.  I probably need 3 weeks to get it back the way it was.  Being shaved clean was a bit shocking to Samantha and Alex since this was the first time they had seen me without a beard.  Even Emma Jane on FaceTime was caught off guard.  There was significant shock value to the moment.  Emma Jean mentioned it has been probably 7 years since I last shaved.

I think everyone is getting stir crazy from being in the house.  Everyone is ready for some grand announcement about a cure for COVID-19 and an agreement between Saudi Arabia and Russia.  I am happy that this moment is bringing families together.  There is a silver lining.

Samantha is working today.  She works at a fabric store and they are selling fabric like mad to people making masks to fight the virus.  She gets off of work at  2.  I'm sure we will try to do some kind of family activity when she returns.

Yesterday we went to Home Depot and a local nursery to look at plants for the front yard.  I am not a plant guy so I told the person there that we were looking for plants that could fend for themselves.  My only interaction is going to be with a trimmer.  I think we have picked out some plants that may be up for the job.  They are green and look pretty.  That is where my knowledge ends.  When this COVID-19 issue passes we will look at getting them.  For now we are just planning for the future.  While I was there I noticed they sold pepper plants.  My dad was a pepper person and would eat stuff really hot.  I think that is because his tastebuds just got weak with time.  I say this because I feel this is happening to me.  Anyway - they sell a large variety of pepper plants.  I think I will pick one up and get some peppers going.  I figured it would have to be something everyone would eat.  They sold California Reaper pepper plants and I just laughed because nobody would eat those peppers.  So - I think I will settle on something everyone would eat, like a jalapeño pepper.

Anyway - that is it for now.

05 April 2020 (5 years, 3 months, 17 days after The Day)

Happy 2020!  So I am lame at consistently journaling.  There have been a few things since my last entry that have occurred that I will hopefully summarize well.

1.) I took a vacation with my family to Mexico.  Samantha's late husband's mom planned a family reunion in Cancun and flew everyone there.  It was a very nice opportunity and very unexpected.  We decided on leaving Claire with Samantha's parents.  I'm glad we did.  We started early by getting passports and man was that an effort.  We had to have death certificates, birth certificates, in-person validations, etc.  One thing that made it easy was Costco photos.  The vacation ended with us all not realizing how much we needed a vacation until after it was over.  We went at the beginning of March and the weather there was just beautiful.  I got the opportunity to feed some sea turtles while I was swimming in the ocean.  That is a very cool experience and I recommend doing this if you ever get the opportunity.  Cancun has both sandy and rocky beaches and my feet found some hard rocks which bruised up my foot to the point that I couldn't walk easily.  Even today my foot has issues.  I luckily brought some water shoes and used them.  Sun screen is expensive there so just pack some!  I would definitely go back.  Everyone had a good time.

2.) We went through a significant wind storm here.  Where I live is next to the mountain and there were winds about 50 mph (80.47 kph) that was really strong and a bit scary.  We have one of those portable basketball hoops that holds either sand or water to keep it upright and that was pushed over so that the hoop part was facing the ground.  The wind then pushed it probably 20 feet.  Keep in mind this thing is fully weighted with water.  It is very very heavy.  Outside of this we didn't have much of any damage so I believe we were very fortunate.  Two neighbors had a trees blow over and I was able to snag one for my BBQ smoker.  The other was a pine.  It fell onto my neighbor's home.  I took my chainsaw over and with the help of a team of other neighbors get the tree off his home.  Luckily damage to his home was minimal.  I don't think we ever realize just how heavy a tree is.  When cutting this tree it nearly took my chainsaw with it when it fell.  

3.) Earthquakes.  I have never lived through an earthquake so this was new for me.  March 18th 2020 I was sitting in my office about 7:15 in the morning when the house started shaking.  A 5.7 magnitude earthquake hit Magna, UT about 45 miles North of us.  It shook enough to roll me around the office in my office chair.  My home didn't sustain damages that I can tell so I feel very fortunate.  It woke everyone up.  There were probably 90 earthquakes that day.  All of them North of us and none of them that big but there have been a lot of earthquakes up in this area.  It is weird.  So in my life I have experienced hurricanes, tornados, forest fires, floods, and earth quakes.  I think the only thing I have not experienced is a tsunami or a mudslide.

4.) The COVID-19 pandemic is affecting us all.  School migrated back home and the kids are stir crazy.  Emma and Madilyn wrote a parody song about it here:

That was shared a bunch on social media and now they are writing another.  It is good to see them use their creative abilities.  Both Emma and Alex are still working.  Their restaurants are no longer having dine-in customers so they are getting drive-through or phone-in orders only which is interesting since one of the restaurants doesn't have a drive-through.  It seemed when this all started everyone just heard about it from the news.  As the virus spreads it seems more people are being affected closer to home and even affecting those we know and care about.  With the impact the virus has and is having on the economy coupled with the Russia/Saudi price war on oil I worry this perfect storm could send the US economy into a depression.  I hope as a country the US can weather this storm and bounce back.

5.) The COVID-19 virus and oil drop has directly affected not only my job but jobs of family members.  Being from Texas many don't get just how massive oil and gas is for the state and the US overall.  Texas GDP is 1.6 trillion and could be compared to Russia's GDP that is 1.7 trillion.  Texas oil is big.  I think in the US everything is big and GDP in 2019 represents about 21.44 trillion total so Texas is roughly 7% of the US economy but keep in mind that 1/3 of the known US oil supply is in Texas so there are naturally tons of companies that employ those that live there.  These are the big companies - Exxon, ConocoPhillips, Valero, etc. These oil and gas companies employ millions of people.  The impact to the US economy is being felt... yes... but to the Texas economy this is huge.  Companies that have been cash-rich are now having to determine how best to scale back their company to meet demand and NOT lose the talent they have built over the years.  Introducing terms like pay-cuts, furloughs, reductions, and reorganization are very common these days as the companies  make necessary changes to stay afloat.  Oil and gas is an old business.  Most of the leaders have tremendous expertise in oil and gas and it is not uncommon to hear "This is the way we have done things for the last 50 years".  This generally has resulted in slow changes to their processes and product offerings.  Since COVID-19 I have seen these same companies begin to branch out to use their technologies in different markets.  It is uncharted territory for them but if they can adjust to the changing market conditions I think we will see an entirely new form of revenue for some of the companies historically associated with oil and gas.  To summarize Plato - Necessity is the mother of invention.  It is exciting times.

6.) BBQ.  Samantha got me a boning knife to assist in getting pork trimmed from the bone.  She and I used it yesterday to make some sausage.  I smoked a brisket and some pork shoulders yesterday for pulled pork and today I did sausage and am in the process of making ribs.  I love BBQ.

There is more I am not sharing... I'm sure but I will write more later now that I am focused again on this blog.

:-)

  

21 January 2020 (5 years, 1 month, 2 days after The Day)

Can I ask a question?  If a plane experienced pressure loss and you were traveling with your child (assume they are infant/toddler age) and the masks dropped... would you put a mask on yourself first?   I had a discussion with someone regarding life challenges and this analogy was used by them saying "you know what they say in the safety briefing before a flight - put your mask on first and then assist your children".  I just think this sounds textbook - meaning - it sounds logical but not coming from someone who has lived through it?  How many of us would immediately assist our child without thinking of ourselves?  I look at parents and see them helping their kids first.  This is what we do.  It is difficult to somehow do something that is counter intuitive.

When Jan died I was exposed to a widow/widower group online.  They would use the phrase of "new normal" to describe life after the passing of their spouse.  I'm sure for many the loss of a loved one is traumatic.  It forcibly changes someone like a rock that is smashed into smaller parts.  I was told that "Time heals all wounds".  I personally don't believe this.  I believe love heals all wounds.  I read of near-death experiences of how individuals who were technically dead for a period of time and later revived told stories of feeling genuine love and not wanting to leave.  Each of these stories came from individuals who were of different faiths.  They were explained away by scientists due to oxygen deprivation to the brain and hallucinations that could have been caused by that state.  I find it interesting that regardless of a person's faith or belief system many reported seeing their loved ones during that time in different locations ... they could explain what was happening or what was being said.  These are things that for me bring doubt to the experts doubt in an afterlife.  I am encouraged that the first thing we get to experience after death is love.  Love that heals, encourages, and brings happiness.  Who doesn't want this?  Perhaps that is why some of those near-death experiences the person shared that they had the opportunity to stay or "go back" and it was a tough decision for them.  Who knows if we all get a choice or if it is just "our time to go".  I just think God must love us a lot for the very first thing we experience after death is a feeling of unconditional love.