26 December 2020 (6 years, 6 days after The Day)

 So Christmas went well.  It started the night before with me attempting to get kids off to bed and presents brought out and placed under the tree.  We watched the beginning of the 1960's cartoon of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer until it was time for Claire to head to bed. Once she was in bed we watched the 1954 version of White Christmas (starring Bing Crosby) with everyone.  Once those activities were done Samantha went to work making cinnamon rolls and I began arranging presents and stockings.  One of the things Samantha picked up was a set of wooden puzzles to put into the stockings.  I was haphazardly holding the one for Ammon when it fell apart in my hands.  After youtubing the answer, attempting multiple times to solve it, and swearing to myself to never do that again, I was able to successfully assemble it.  We finally got to bed around midnight.  At 2:40 am Claire came into the room asking if it was time to get up.  This happened again at 6:15 and again at 6:40.  When we finally managed to get ourselves out of bed Samantha headed downstairs to bake the homemade cinnamon rolls she made the previous night.  The kids all arose and we went into the living room for the grand reveal.  The kids began opening their presents and stockings and then we enjoyed the very unhealthy breakfast.  It was "so choice" as Ferris Bueller would say.  It seemed that after we were loaded with sugar and fat we all slept.  Everyone kinda did their own thing and I decided it was as good a time as any to remove some weeds from my backyard.  These are not just any weed.  They are like angry dandelions.  The actual name is "Scotch Thistle".  It is the only plant that had me seriously consider setting my lawn on fire.  

it starts off like this

And you think... no big deal.  Just a weed.

Then it sprouts up looking like this

And you think.... I need to go get rid of that thing.  It is completely covered with spikes. 

If left neglected it can grow between 8-12 feet tall.  These are images from a google search but do represent the craziness of the plant.  

My home is close to some open land and there is an infestation there.  The seeds blew to my property and I had some that were about 7 feet tall by my fence line at the back of my lot.  Anyway - it is a place I don't frequent much so I decided to serve an eviction notice and remove these plants.  The trick is how to remove them.  The thistle is so sharp that they pierce leather gloves without any difficulty.  So to address this, I have to use a 25 lb digging bar that is about 5 feet long to jab below the plant and loosen the soil.  In this process I attempt to get below the plant and pry it up enough to grab the root (good luck) while not getting skewered.  This took about 3-5 min per plant.  I finally removed the plants and made a pile of them.  I now have the challenge of trimming each one enough to get them in the trash can.  

I walked into the house to the heavenly aroma of seafood gumbo.  I don't know how to describe this but it seems that the smelling of certain foods can trigger fond memories.  This smell reminded me of my grandparents home.  Samantha was finishing up her family gumbo recipe and the kitchen smelled divine.  After getting cleaned up after serving the eviction notice of the thistle, Samantha asked if I had a recipe for pecan pie.  Before I attempted to find a recipe online I looked through a bunch of my Grandmother's church recipe books.  The Methodist church she attended would collect recipes from all around the Czech community (Crosby, Tx) and publish them.  My grandmother would gift these books to us as kids and I have many in the cupboard.  Anyway - I found a recipe and was delighted to note that it is the recipe of my great aunt Ruby.  Ha!  Anyway - I think everyone liked it... today there are only two slices left.  The gumbo didn't turn out like Samantha wanted but it was still good to me.  She purchased a Honey Baked ham earlier in the week so the entire meal consisted of the ham, gumbo, potato casserole, french bread (that was buttered and toasted), and a salad.  Everyone rolled away from the table when they were done!

Later in the evening we got a chance to video chat with Alex and Dylan at the same time.  It was so good to see them.  After getting caught up on things and spending time with the family we put Claire to bed on a spare mattress in my bedroom to make room for Emma and her family who where in route to our home.  Shortly after this, Emma Jane and Spencer arrived with Hayes.  That kid is so cute!  We visited for a while and then everyone went to bed. 

Today has been a lot of visiting.  I enjoy catching up with them and have really enjoyed everyone being together.  I wish Alex and Dylan were with us but they will be in the coming years.

Well - Until later - 

  

24 December 2020 (6 years, 4 days after The Day)

 Christmas Eve 2020 seems to be more like a random Thursday of the week.  Our Christmas tree is up, presents are wrapped, and activities planned; however, the pandemic has made our activities a little lackluster as we strive to minimize contact.  Samantha's parents asked what we were doing for supper on Christmas and Samantha responded by saying "Wendy's".  I mean, when we just have immediate family over it is like a normal meal.  The kids seem to not care what we place in front of them and why should we kill ourselves in the kitchen only for the kids to respond with a "meh".  With the polarization of political views, views on national policy, COVID, etc I think the entire world is already counting down for 2021 with a hope that it brings less drama.  All I know is the pandemic coupled with my knee surgery has resulted in my weight loss reversing course.  I not only fell off the bandwagon but I ended up running the opposite direction.  It is discouraging for sure.  So - I am left with the following:

1. starting over trying to figure out how to integrate physical activity into my life when my normal lifestyle doesn't naturally include it.
2. pondering how it is possible for one to work so hard for months to "get in shape" and reverse course only taking weeks.  I feel it is like an incline.  You have to work to get up the hill and if you stop you fall back down very quickly.  I understand fully why some are like.. well - screw it... I'm ok with where I am at.

Claire has been having tantrums lately.  I believe it is because she is tired.  We are changing her diet to a reduced sugar diet.  The meds she is taking for seizures have side-effects of anger.  The neurologist suggested adding a supplement of vitamin B6.  This has helped tremendously but lately it seems she gets into fights with Ammon over the most mundane things.  Something like the following;

(Ammon) The Christmas tree is pretty.

(Claire) No, I said it was pretty!

(Ammon) I just said I liked it.  Why are you shouting?

(Claire) STOP SHOUTING AT ME!  ... MOM, AMMON IS SHOUTING AT ME!!!

(Ammon) ??

Poor Ammon gets the wrath of Claire on a constant basis.  He has a tendency to stand his ground which just prolongs the dumb disagreements they have.  I have found that with Claire these episodes are generally because she is either tired or hungry.  Samantha and I are trying to help her be more aware of her and help her eat or rest when she is needing it.

I picked up Emma Jean from college yesterday.  She got her grades back from the first semester and the lowest grade was an A-.  I am not surprised and am very happy for her.  She had a handful of tough classes so these were not easy A's.  Madilyn and Ammon both did well in their classes.  They turned their grades around to end on a positive note.  I am very pleased with their efforts.  It is weird with both Alex and Dylan gone.  We miss them.  Emma Jane, Spencer, and Hayes will be here tomorrow.  We always look forward to their visits.  Hayes is just a seriously cute kid.

So, yesterday, there was an issue at work.  I am taking this week and next on vacation; however, the issues in technology are generally woven into a ton of other processes and because technology never takes a vacation, it requires everyone to get involved regardless of the holiday schedule.  Resolving these problems requires looking past the symptoms to discover the root cause.  This problem solving effort often mandates a lot of individuals with various skills to combine together to find and address the issue. With so many people on vacation, I often feel like Dave in the image below as the end-user is generally wondering why a problem isn't being solved faster.

I believe technology integration with business systems is only increasing as time goes on.  No longer is there a filing cabinet, pad of paper, and a pen.  There are integrated systems that work together.  These systems decrease errors, improve efficiencies, and standardize processes to the point that people forget about how they work.  They are similar to the air conditioning system in your home.  You just don't think about it.  You only do when the AC doesn't work and then you have to call in someone to figure out why it isn't working.  The challenge with business systems and their integration with technology is there generally isn't a single person who knows the entire landscape.  These integrations are customized and not standard.  Even though these problems are complex I find the problem solving process invigorating as I work to better understand why something is awry.

I know I don't talk about work much but I figure from time to time it really is part of my life and not writing about it is a disservice to what this blog represents.

Well - it is 10:21 am.  I suppose I should get up and get going.  Until later - 

    

21 December 2020 (6 years, 1 day after The Day)

 I have really held in not writing.  I suppose this online blog is in many ways like a journal.   A journal is in many ways an outlet for me to process things.  I often reflect on the Harry Potter books where the wise old wizard Dumbledore used a pensieve to capture memories.  He would hold his wand to his temple and extract the memories as a silvery strand that would fall into a shallow basin (the pensieve) allowing him or others later to view the memories and relive them as if they were there.  While it would be nice to extract memories this way I have found that writing them down does the same thing.  It forces me to write them in a way that they will be received by you in the way I am trying to convey.  It forces me to think empathically.  Anyway - This time of year is always a difficult time for me.  I relive all the crap I went through.  

During that time in my life the Rongey family was very close to Jan and the kids.  At Jan's funeral I was a mess and asked Kurt Rongey to read what I had put together.  I knew I wouldn't be able to get through it myself.  Anyway - a few days ago I found a facebook post by Kurt regarding a gofundme post online that their 9 year old daughter, Juilianne, is fighting a form of cancer that is very rough and is inoperable.  She was close friends with Ammon and I hate to see others that I know experience the helpless feeling that accompanies life events like this.  You want to do whatever you can.  You wish you had a magic wand to magic away the pain that is so evident.  The pain that has no "fix" and one that has people praying for God to intervene.  There is no cake to bake... no yard to mow... no money to give that can make up for the pain caused by life events.  I think that is why Christ wants us to "mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort".  I don't know the Rongey's financial situation but if you can give, please consider it.  This type of treatment is expensive even with insurance.

As I reflect on this type of life lesson I am reflective of all I received during the time of Jan's passing.  There were so many that gave in so many ways.  Some in forms of service.  Some gave in monetary ways while others gave by just being there for me and my family in our darkest of hours.  This silly blog was a way for me to extract those memories and was therapeutic for me.   I really dislike December.  That is what has happened to me with these life events.  I feel bad for my kids since they have a tainted view of December just as I do.  I try to put on a happy face but it is a tough month.

Claire turned 6 yesterday.  I was excited for her and yet I was sad.  I still am.  She got a clock to help her know when it is ok to get out of bed in the morning.  She had one of her friends come over to play today.  I spent a couple of hours playing hide and seek with them when Claire and her friend couldn't agree on the game to play.  Fun memories.  

I think everyone in the world is ready for 2020 to be over.  It is hard for me to process that it has been 6 years.  Sometimes I feel like my old self was just a stranger to me now.  I wonder what it will be like seeing Jan again after so many years have passed.