So today is the day. Claire is coming home. I'm trying to prep the house and get things in order. I'm trying to figure out how to get things in order and as I look around my room I am a little overwhelmed. I will go through and get things cleaned up today. Madilyn and Ammon slept in my bed last night. I'm probably going to go to church for the first hour and then come home.
I spoke with Jan about 4 months ago about Pinterest. She started using it a long time ago and loves it. It is funny. As an IT professional you would think I would be into all the new things but I am not. I learn about them and wait for the dust to settle to see if the technology will be sustainable. Well, yesterday, I signed up with Pinterest and found another side to my wife. I found little notes she had written on the posts and I felt a little closer to her.
I logged into Facebook and found there were about 15 friend requests. Some were from people I know and others were not. I started using Facebook to just track those with whom I am close but with all that has happened my use of Facebook has changed. The same thing for Google Plus.
2:30 pm-
I just got back from taking Emma to the doctor. She has some sort of stomach bug and we needed to ensure it wasn't the flu. The doctor believes it is either food poisoning or some kind of stomach bug. Either way Claire's discharge is being delayed. :-( I'm sad that Claire isn't coming home today but thankful that she won't be sick. I have quarantined Emma to her room just to be safe.
When I called the NICU I found out that Claire has eaten 130 ml today (about 4.4 oz) at one feeding. She was a happy girl once she ate and was getting a bath. I'm so excited to have her come home.
3:15 pm -
Ammon has a fever and is super cranky. Great. He got some medicine and is lying down in his bed in his room. I'm on the floor by his bed. He doesn't want to be alone. If this continues I may just get Claire and go stay in a hotel or somewhere away from sick people! NICU makes the Ritz-Carlton look like the Days Inn. In 20 years I'm sure there will be some laughter about all of this.
7:29 pm -
So, Ammon finally went to sleep. I believe for the night. His fever broke and that is good. Emma is also feeling much better. Let's hope this trend continues!! While I was waiting for him to go to sleep I read the majority of a book called "What's on the other side" by Brent L. Top. It was mailed to me directly after my wife passed. I am always fascinated by those who have glimpsed the other side and I suppose this book just gives another viewpoint to this. There is a scripture that is referenced in the book that reads like this
I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up.
The author and I both have thought the same thing... who are these "angels" that would bear you up? Some random stranger angel? No. To me it makes sense that it is our family that has departed this life. Those good souls that are striving to do what is right. Angels of God. Yes, it sounds silly perhaps, but to me it connects some dots that after this life we have the opportunity to help our kids/family and strengthen them to help them through tough times. When I have said at times I feel like Jan is near... well, this helped confirm feelings that are hard to verbalize or write. I should be a basket case with all that has occurred but I feel like I have had support. Support from those that are keeping us in our thoughts and prayers as well as support from God. I believes this includes those that support God's will or angels.. or perhaps better stated... kindred dead that are humble followers of righteousness.
I have thought how death or some tragic event can turn a person to God. I am probably like all of God's children... I act like a stubborn teenager who knows best. Events like this help humble those to better hear God's voice. I know I have grown closer to the things that really matter. I suppose that is what tragic events are all about. To help a person focus on what is really important. In the grand scheme of things I really do believe I will see Jan and others that have departed this life again; however, it is just hard parting for a time.
I have a babysitter lined up for tomorrow. I'll be picking up Claire in the afternoon assuming everyone here is OK. Ammon woke up and I am back in his room. I may end up sleeping in this chair. I don't know which is worse... sleeping upright in a chair or being kicked during the night by Madilyn. Oh well... I'm sure I'll sleep regardless. I'm looking at my son as he is sleeping and realizing how fortunate I am to be his father. He has a good heart. That is what matters. I hope I can help him to be his very best. I hope I can do that for all my kids.
