I think with death surrounding me these days I have come to a place of peace. Peace in that I have to accept that the ones I love and care for are gone and I have no control over it. I also have thought on the finality of death as it relates to our time here.
My father's father died of leukemia when my father was 14. One thought my grandfather shared with my dad at the end of his struggle was and is so very true. At the time my grandfather was a minister for a church and there were many well-wishers that stopped by to express their love for him and sorrow for the situation that my grandfather was in. One day during a period of peace with no visitors my grandfather called in my dad and spoke to him. He said, "Son, there are a lot of people that have expressed sorrow because I am terminally ill but what they don't realize is they are too. We are all mortal and will all die." I have thought on this council given to my father and then later relayed to me. I have thought that we all to often focus on others and their death thinking that our death is far off or nonexistent. The truth is we don't know when our death will come. The Good Lord could call us home tomorrow for all we know. All we have to do is live the best we can and do the best we know how. This will lead us to become the best we can.
I heard the quote that as we "become converted" as Christ charged Peter - the part of us that desires anything contrary to the will of God actually dies. I thought on how Peter was given this council during the last moments he had with Christ. I have thought on how we all struggle to be a better person. Some do it because of guilt. Some because it is the right thing to do. I believe it is essential that we be true to ourselves and God. In the first Harry Potter book there is a mirror called "The Mirror of Erised" which shows people what they desire. The father-figure in the book "Professor Dumbledore" said that "The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like
a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly
as he is." This mirror had the ability to show the person looking into it whatever they desired. If you are true to yourself and God I suppose you would see only yourself because you would be truly happy. True happiness seems far off right now. I still am numb from all the activity but nonetheless I am thinking that being true is the first step to happiness. Being true is to be honest with oneself.
