Have you ever had a day that was so packed full of activity that you lost track of time? That was today for me. I went beyond multitasking for me. I had multiple projects going simultaneously and was a machine. By the time the day ended I still had a ton more to do but I felt good about what I had accomplished. Someone made us dinner tonight that totally saved the day for me. Everyone ate and was filled.
After dinner I took Emma to get some dress shoes. I'm not a fan of shopping and Emma's shoe size makes it difficult. Put the two together and Jan would have been laughing. My solution? Tell the shoe salesmen to bring me every shoe he sells that is white and in her size. The first store had 3 pairs of shoes. 3 This is like me shopping for shoes. So when we went to the second store I was not expecting what he brought. At least 20 pairs. We tore through the different styles and narrowed it down to a few shoes. After much deliberation she settled on a pair and we purchased them just as the mall was closing. Phew.
I found my mind wandering as I drove today. I thought of Jan and how empty life has been since her passing. I thought of how long I have to live before I can see her again. I thought of how life is turning out different from how I thought it would be. I think my focus on life is different. I suppose everyone changes that goes through something like this. I wonder what Jan is doing and if she deals with the same pains I go through with missing her. It is the simple quiet times that I just wish I was able to have a discussion with her.
Tomorrow is Claire's EEG and another log day. I'm off to bed to get ready for the morning.
