Well, today I set a date for Madilyn's baptism and Claire's baby blessing. It will be April 25 and 26th. At church we believe a child can be baptized at the age of 8 and older. This is because we believe they need to know the difference between right and wrong and make that decision on their own. With Madilyn, Jan and I took time and wanted to ensure she understood what she was doing. I can honestly say I believe she is making this decision on her own and not out of any other outside influence. I'm sure Jan will also be in attendance with such a happy day.
Today I did something I have never done. I took time to do something just for me. I went on a walk.. alone. I walked about 3 miles and just took my time. I thought my mind would swirl in the memories of Jan. They didn't. I did think of her when I got to a park we would take the kids to. I recall some of the fun memories we made racing each other on the track. I smiled as I walked by those areas. I've been thinking on my friend's death and how tragic the entire situation is. It is a bit difficult for me because again I reflect on those I have been really close with in my life and find myself alone. I anticipated this may occur in my life but I assumed I would be in my 80's. I am left to think "now what?" I am at a crossroads so to speak and working out how to move forward.
Tomorrow is therapy. I want to heal and at the same time it is a bitter cup to drink.
