I found out late last night that the memorial service for my childhood friend would be this morning. I just didn't know how to get there having to juggle my kids. I went to sleep last night sad and frustrated. This morning I awoke to find out that there is also a viewing going on five hours away from where I was. I just miss my friend and I wish I could have seen him one last time. I guess I feel like my kids do not being able to see their mother at the funeral. It sucks.
I went by Jan's grave this afternoon. Some of the dirt looked turned over. I don't know what that was about. I plucked a couple of budding roses from our rose bush and placed it on her mound of dirt. I wept as I had a conversation. I just really want this "lesson" to be over. I miss her terribly.
Tomorrow is another packed day of activities. I'm tired.
