Today I was able to go on a walk with my son. It was nice to just get out with just the two of us. Yesterday I went on a walk with Madilyn so I got double the blessings. The mosquitoes were out so we fed them a bit but overall it was a good experience.
I think I am entering a new phase in my grief. I have been trying to think of what to call it. So far the only thing that comes to mind is "sad acceptance". It really is sad. Some who have gone through this say they have come to a place of peace. For me it isn't that peaceful. It is just painful. I feel like I could sleep for a long time and I don't know if that is due to the grief or all that is going on. Either way I am just really tired. As I type this I listen to the dishwasher and the white noise is just putting me to sleep. My older girls are at a play tonight so I need to stay up for them but nobody is going to have to rock me to sleep tonight. That is certain.
