Today was a better day. There was a lot of activity at work that kept me busy. There was a lot of activity at home that also kept me busy. It is 10 pm and I am just now getting the kids to bed. That doesn't leave a lot of 'me' time but it does ensure that every minute of the day is packed.
Group counseling went well tonight too. I thought about what decisions I have made since Jan's death that have been good. I realized that when Jan was here I was paralyzed in decision making. I was so focused on ensuring that the decision was 'ok' with everyone that by the time the decision was made it often was done by my wife who was tired of waiting. Since her departure I have just made decisions to move forward with a variety of things. Overall this part of me has changed and I have found it has made me better. I am also striving to keep humor in this home. In a sad way a lot of joking around stopped when my wife passed. I'm making a concerted effort to keep humor and witty commentary a normal part of our lives. I believe this has helped as well. I am trying to always focus on what I have control over and not on what I don't. This above all has helped me. One day at a time.
