Today we had some discussion on Jan. This was the first time in a long time that my kids opened up on the subject. To hear things from their perspective was tough. It was tough because like a puzzle all the pieces look different when your view shifts. This meant looking at things differently and reliving it again. It sounds silly but a different view from a child's perspective was painful to relive because I just wish I could have done things differently to support them through the trial.
This event has helped me to focus on helping them. To ask myself what would I want if I were in their shoes. They had the opportunity to speak with someone who lost their parent at an early age. It was very good for them to hear and think about the comments that were made. The amount of people that have gone through something like this seems to be small so when people find that common bond complete strangers can become close friends quickly.
Counseling starts on Monday. We will see how it goes. My time is as much evaluating the counselor as it is for me to receive counseling. My kids will be visiting with this person as well so it will be good for this process to finally get moving.
It is late - I will write more tomorrow.
