So today was a better day. I think it was because I was able to just focus on process documentation at work. I really can get lost in that stuff and it helps the time to fly. Whenever I talk to anyone about Jan it is common for someone to say "but of course you feel awful... it has only been two months!" For me it feels like both forever and yesterday. Anger and frustration seems to be in waves and I am striving to find an outlet for this other than being in a bad mood.
so, I will continue my list
84.) I am thankful that Claire can cry when she needs help. Emma had a tracheotomy when she was an infant and we couldn't hear her cry because the tube in her throat was below her vocal cords. I think Jan and I both wept when we heard her cry for the first time. It was so sweet. (yes... then it was not so sweet)
85.) I am thankful for how honest my son can be with me. I am amazed at how he is just so innocent and clear in his communications. I strive to be like that.
86.) I am thankful that I can shop online for nearly everything and I can do this from my phone. I recall as a kid I purchased a bicycle frame from a BMX magazine ad and it came to the door COD. Amazing how time has changed the ordering process.
87.) I am thankful for kind coworkers. I really don't know how I would get through this without people reaching out genuinely interested in how me and my family are doing. It means an awful lot.
88.) I am thankful for this world we have to live in that offers all the challenges life has to offer. For me it seems that with every challenge comes a measure of strength.
89.) I am thankful for eyeglasses. I just didn't realize how much I appreciate them until the morning comes when I want to get out of bed and start the day and realize I cannot see well.
90.) I am thankful for the safety in which I live. On TV it is a common scene to see some war zone where people are trying to live amidst chaos. Life would be very different if I couldn't drive without the fear of attack.
So, I'm calling it a night tonight. More tomorrow.
