Today I had a very good conversation with a good friend about being real. We spoke about the challenges of life and how being real with yourself can often be the most difficult thing. It is so easy to pick out or identify issues with others. It is easy to see things that you yourself don't have to address. It is much like looking at someone and saying "Wow, you are fat. You should probably go to the gym and lay off the sweets" or "She is so insensitive. She should think about how her words are received". Of course all of this is easy to say because that is all you have to do is say it; however, if you were to receive this information it gives you a different perspective. Generally speaking if you receive this information you may initially deflect it and justify your actions away. This is the path of least resistance when dealing with someone's accusations you may feel are either false or somewhat true but they are not your judge. What happens when the accusations come from yourself? Perhaps that is why looking in the mirror and being honest is so difficult. What do you deflect? When I sat down and wrote out my fears and concerns a couple of days ago it was the first time I was really honest with myself. It was a good moment and while it was difficult it has helped me turn the page that I didn't want to turn. To face the crossroads and decide to feel. It is very difficult but I see no other option other than to "curse God, and die" as in the book of Job 2:9. To feel is so difficult but there is hope. I keep reminding myself of this. Hope is the precursor of faith.
So, to continue the list from yesterday:
21.) I am thankful for friends that are honest.
22.) I am thankful for a wife that accepts me for who I am both good and bad.
23.) I am thankful for a daughter that doesn't know who I am but trusts me.
24.) I am thankful for quiet moments to think and reflect throughout the day.
25.) I am thankful for finding a cemetery that is close for my kids to visit.
26.) I am thankful for the outpouring of support me and my family received that helped us through this ordeal.
27.) I am thankful for our rocking chair that has lasted for every child.
28.) I am thankful for challenges coming in waves so I can prepare during good times for the times that won't be so good.
29.) I am thankful for good neighbors - they have been such a support to me.
30.) I am thankful for music and the joy it brings to my home.
