27 March 2015 (97 days after The Day)

Today I had a good conversation with a friend about Jan.  This event with Jan has really stretched me for all I am worth.  It seems that the Good Lord allows this to occur to the point just before breaking.  Indeed this has expended my ability to feel.  Feeling has more depth and more height.  I find myself staring out to nothing.  Finding time to stop and feel has and still is avoided.  When I think on the events of the day I find myself feeling empty wishing I had Jan to share them with.  Instead I am caught in the soccer-mom duties of running in every direction and collapsing at the end of the day.  I guess this is the new "normal".  I don't know.  If it is I need to find something to recharge the batteries because unless I do I don't think there is enough in the tank to sustain this long-term.  With that thought - I'm going to bed.