So today I've been thinking on the concept taught in the scriptures where our faith is compared to a seed. Trials like the one my family is going through make us look forward to the harvest and sometimes it is directly after planting. So much so that we get frustrated when we have no fruit from the seed we just planted. Today I realize that the fruit and the journey of the fruit are one in the same. I never realized that the journey is just as important as the fruit when it is time to harvest. How small decisions to nourish the seed can be the big lessons learned when it is time to harvest.
My family starts group counseling tomorrow. I'm interested to see how this all goes. Today was a very tough day for me. I don't know why. There was no single event that caused the avalanche but I knew this afternoon that I was a house of cards. It is good to get some warning or at least be able to recognize the warning.
I feel closer to my kids than I ever have. I just reflect on how a single parent does this. For me it is moment by moment and day by day.
On the way home after picking up Claire I saw a home that reminded me of the one Jan and I purchased when we lived in Lubbock, Tx while we were in school. This was our very first home. This house was previously foreclosed on that we had to gut to make livable. The sight made my mom cry. To us though it was a dream. A castle. A place to call our own. We worked every day on various projects. When we sold it a couple of years later you would never have known how it originally looked. What made the difference? Lots of little projects and consistent effort.
I think on that house and how it transformed from something that made my mom cry to something that looked amazing. I think on the toil and hard work that transformed it. I realize that the same effort will be needed in my own life to rebuild after this event. The house and I have that in common. We just need some TLC.
