19 March 2015 (89 days after The Day)

Today I have reflected on obedience to the laws of God vs. Self.  To obey God is to disobey self.  This is a snippet from that great novel Moby-Dick by Herman Melville when in the beginning of the novel the preacher is giving a sermon on Jonah.  I have thought about how our natural self is in opposition to God.  How during this time in my life I wish for Jan to be back but that is not the hand that I have been dealt.  I suppose it is a good lesson for me to learn.  How to be a single father.  How to raise 3 daughters and a son.  How to ask for help.  Lessons in humility for me seem to go much easier when I just accept them.  This one is difficult because I am unwilling to accept the fact that Jan is gone.  I am unwilling now but I am sure I will eventually get there.  I suppose like Jonah being humbled helps us all to accept things.