07 March 2015 (77 days after The Day)

The colds persist.  We are trudging through.  I am hopeful that we all can go to church tomorrow.  This will be the first family event.  Claire is a trooper.  She is being seriously blessed or rather... I am being seriously blessed.  Or maybe both.  She can sleep through the night and if she does wake up it is normally around 10/11, 2/3, 6/7.  I'm able to get some sleep which has helped the little sanity I have stay with me.  Tonight I fed her and gave her her medicine and she did not wake.  I put her back in her crib and she didn't stir.  I don't know if this is normal for Claire as each of my kids have been unique.  I'm hoping that it is normal.

I forgot... I took a family photo a few days back and neglected to post it here.  I think it is only fitting that it is here since this is somewhat of a journal of my travels.

  Ammon is... well himself.

I think I am doing better these days.  I say that but it is a constant struggle.  I think it is still not real in my mind.  Tonight I said goodnight to my kids and I swear that I felt like Jan was right there.  It is those feelings that help me.  Those feelings help me to breathe.  Help me to take one step after another.  Madilyn asked me today where I would like to live if I could live anywhere... I responded... "I'd like to live in Heaven with Mom".  To some this may sound cold to say to your kids but the thing is that ALL of us feel that way.  Wouldn't that be cool if we could visit?  Maybe it wouldn't be.  We would have to return and I don't think we would be all too thrilled to do so. 

Well, I'm going to attempt to go to sleep and hope my coughing does not wake Claire.  The meds I have taken seem to not touch this stuff.  Oh well.  I am grateful that I have colds that help me appreciate when I am well.  The feeling you have when you have crossed onto the healing path and the cold is on the decline.  That is one of the best feelings in the world.  Well I've set my clocks forward and I'm going to bed.