Jan had this "Think happy be happy" phrase hanging from the van rearview mirror. I feel so blessed. I had my moments today. I relived a little. I had a request come in at work for some very very old data and I had to look over some old backups. In the midst of doing this I came across a backup that had personal info on it and in it was photos around the funeral. I just sat there and stared at the photo of the burial vault. It is blue... her favorite color. It seems like a dream. One life ends and another begins. Claire is so precious. Combining both her and Samantha I have really healed a lot but in all honesty, the pain doesn't ever leave. It seems as potent as the day everything occurred.
On a different note - I have my smoker prepped for tomorrow morning. I'm working a 1/2 day tomorrow and I figured I would get the briskets in early so I could pull them out early and perhaps go on a date with Samantha. I learned the hard way through Jan not to put off tomorrow what you can do today. Dates with your spouse are so important.
So - thanks for your thoughts and prayers - I felt today was tough but doable.
Until tomorrow-
