So I feel like this is a crescendo in music. I feel that way because today was a joke. I was sitting in sacrament meeting at church and Stephen Beus (look him up on YouTube) was playing a Christmas piano piece. It was beautiful music. You could feel the Holy Spirit. It was very nice. All of a sudden the tears started flowing and I couldn't cut them off. I seemed to be on a fulcrum before Church that went either to anger or absolute sadness. I was a mess. Samantha recommended I go home after that meeting and they would stay for the remaining portion of Church. I took her up on the offer. I came home, cleaned up a bit, and went to sleep. It seemed like only a few minutes passed before someone knocked on the door and was dropping something off for one of the kids. I crawled back into my bed. It felt like a comfortable cocoon. I dozed on and off and then the troop arrived. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. The girls made lunch and then settled in the living room watching some teeny-bopper show and Ammon was wanting to join them but they (girls vs. Ammon) were arguing so I had to intervene.
I ended up taking Ammon for a drive and then a hike up the mountain. I feel bad because he doesn't have anyone his age group in the home and ends up kinda being isolated in that regard. It was good for he and I to get out and about. My knee held up and I was very encouraged. Perhaps all those days at the gym are paying off! My pedometer on my phone said we hiked 16 flights of stairs. All I know is we were very high and could see a ton. The air was clean and crisp and being in nature was very healing. I think it was healing for us both. We didn't say much but just being away and up and into the wilderness was nice. We found a granite outcropping by the trail and just took a seat. We were both panting as we climbed. We were going to continue going up but there was mud on the trail that made it very unsafe for us both to get across and not fall down the hillside so we turned around.
I got back home and after dinner we visited with the kids. We picked up a Christmas tree the other day so we strung lights on it tonight. I have been filling up the water portion of the tree stand as the tree is gulping water. The tree was a bit dry at the top and it is slowly getting a drink.
I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. I think that is because I have a lot of projects but so many moving pieces are out of my hands so I end up just following up with tons of people. I like to always have a lot of iron in the fire so I can be effective in getting things done but this time of year is a challenge when people are on vacation. I think if I was on vacation what would I do? I don't know. I enjoy work regardless of what it is. I enjoy making a difference.
Until tomorrow -
