Today I am extremely angry and sad. What a combo. I am irritated that Jan and I signed up for being and raising a family together (i.e. marriage) and I feel left alone. I just need something to change to make this more enjoyable. As it currently stands I am just surviving. Perhaps what needs to change is my own attitude.... my viewpoint and perspective.
I am tired, my roof damage has caused leaking in my garage, and I just miss Jan. It has been 159 days since I last talked with her and the pain I feel is still raw and tender. I swear I could sleep for a month to escape this. I hear people say "I couldn't get out of bed" when experiencing this type of loss. I totally understand that. My kids have helped me still move around even though I am just going through the motions. For me it is still one day at a time.
