Well - yesterday has been a very rough day for me. I have muscled through everything but I am just feeling sad. I did have a reprieve when I took care of the lawn. So, perhaps I need to do more of that.
I have thought on the phrase "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger". I'd like to add the addendum "but you may wish for death along the way". I have a new found appreciation for this struggle. I welcome it. Doesn't that sound odd? I do. I welcome the ability to grow spiritually and emotionally from this event. Don't get me wrong - I mourn the loss of my best friend. There isn't a moment that passes that I don't wish I could be with her. The sharpness of the pain has dulled a bit. I don't know if it really has or that I am more accustomed to the javelin. The pain comes in waves as it always has and I now understand what that ocean looks like more than when I was first adrift. I can see the peaks and valleys.
So - it is nearly 4am and my sleeping is what it seems to be these days. I assume Claire will need a bottle so I am awake. Yay! Ammon has come into my bedroom because of the intense thunderstorm. I'm dating this entry for yesterday since I technically should be asleep right now. I'll write more later.
