24 Sept 2015 (278 days after The Day)

Today Ammon said something that was hard to hear yet sweet..  We were all crowded around the computer doing FaceTime with Samantha and her family.  Ammon asked Samantha "Can I start calling you mom?  While I am comforted that Samantha is filling this role and I know Jan is happy that the void of "mom" is being filled... I still find myself being put back to the time when Jan was at the funeral home... just looking at her body dressed and ready for the casket.  I remember telling her... "This is not how it was supposed to be!"... Yet... with that raw memory... I am comforted that Samantha has come into our lives and opened her heart and loved me and my kids.  She has treated my kids as her own and I cannot adequately share how much that means to me.  Indeed blessings do come from tragedy.  I have learned how two broken people who have figured out how to move forward can help support each other.  I have learned the power of love heals even the most horrific events.  I am indeed grateful for Samantha.  I look forward to when we are married.  I look forward to being a dad to her kids who had theirs taken from them.