4 November 2018 (3 years, 10 months, 16 days after The Day)

Today was a church day.  It was the normal routine of getting everyone to church early to claim a bench big enough for everyone.  Church overall was good.  We talked a bit about holding grudges and I reflected on my dad.  I suppose everyone later in life reflects on things about their parents.  For me and my dad we had a splintered relationship.  He said and did things early in my life that for me really broke our relationship.  I wanted him to be different than he was and it took me a long time to realize that the only change I would ever see was going to be myself changing by not expecting him to be different.  He died a few months before Jan and we never really reconciled.  I learned a lot from my dad and I count him as a core contributor to me being who I am today.  My dad's negative traits I recognized as something I didn't want in my life and that really helped me be a different person.  I realized that forgiveness is something that is important for the person offended because holding onto that pain can be debilitating as the years go by.  I also realized that I probably have offended many over the years and am completely oblivious to it.  I know it is a pointless effort to live your life in a way where you are constantly afraid of offending people.  In this day and age it seems that everyone is offended about everything.  I'm sure people reading this blog have been offended by something I have said.  If so - I am sorry.  I may be ignorant of the offense but I am not ignorant of the fact that I am human and make mistakes.  Anyway - the point is the lesson today helped me with a lot of self-reflection time to think on ways I have held grudges and what I can do to be free of them.

So - I played a "would you rather" game with Ammon and Alex this afternoon.  It was really hilarious to see their thoughts on different weird scenarios.