26 July 2015 (218 days after The Day)

So I spent time thinking on how I interpret life... through the eyes of grief.. or not.  Grief can be so difficult.  Is it bad to stare at the black abyss of grief and want to process it all - as fast as possible?  I think not.  Jan loves me.  I love Jan.  There is more to life than being paralyzed by pain.  I honestly believe Jan wants me to really smile and be happy again.