22 July 2015 (214 days after The Day)

So I enjoy doing some family history.  I enjoy looking at finding and looking at my lineage.  I find it fascinating.  I was doing some research and realized that my wife was still listed as living.  The site I use is controlled by a larger company and updates flow automatically from reported deaths.  Anyway, I figured it would be updated automatically... and it wasn't.  I just got thrown back to before all of this happened.  It was difficult then and still difficult now.  I just recall having the discussion with Jan when she was dressed in the funeral home.  I talked to her about how this isn't the way it is supposed to happen.  I recall it as if I was there yesterday.  Raw feelings.  Raw pain.  Memories are amazing that they can trigger so many different emotions... emotions you may have thought to be managed.