So I learned something. Claire does not like to travel. She is OK in a car seat but not for extended periods. My other kids entertained her and that was very helpful. She is exhausted and ate and is sleeping. You can tell - she is glad to be back home. I think we all are.
I had a very good lunch with Tom whom I have not seen since the funeral. This year has flown by and it was so good to visit with him. We have a busy weekend ahead and the grief I have felt has entered a new stage. I have seen lots that wear a cloak of grief as an identity. Perhaps it is common to think that after a loved one dies their spouse should remain in grief the reminder of their days and by not doing so will be a disservice to their loved one's memory. I will always miss Jan. I cherish our time together and while I am extremely pained with her departure - I have thought how I would want her to live if these events were reversed. I am choosing to live again. That is the single most difficult decision I think I have ever made. But who said healing is easy?
