Today I juggled lots of projects. Lots of moving pieces and lots of activities. With all the activity at work I am wondering how single parents do it all. By the time dinner is done and cleaned up it seems it is time for bed.
My cold is getting better - but I still struggle with coughing. I'm sure the meds are working ... it is just taking a moment. I'm glad I went in when I did.
I have found it is easy to talk to other widows and widowers about my loss. It seems odd that a life event like a death can isolate you so very easily with loved ones caring but not really understanding. Heck, I myself thought - one day I will be a widower... when I am 80 or so.... Jan and I had a desire of growing old together and dying together... She did say - "If one of us goes - I hope it is me because I don't want to live without you". I wish I had that recorded... for now I just play that memory back in my mind. I think... 8 months is not that long... it is ok. On the other hand 8 months seems like an eternity. When I talk to other widows and widowers that is when I understand that life goes on and you can smile again. That your spouse wants you to smile and laugh again. It is hard to allow yourself to do such things - but it is so healing when laughter occurs.
