So - yes there has been a bit of a delay from my last entry to today. I think mainly because I am mentally processing a lot and have struggled on what to include in this blog. I think I have struggled with how life has turned out. That phrase is not what you may be thinking. I was talking to Samantha earlier today and I have just struggled with the realities of how the youth in my home treat adults. I think I had some idealistic view point that wasn't reality. I get that kids grow up and seek for independence and want to go and do but I have just really been hit hard with how the lack of gratitude is just so pervasive in their attitudes and demeanors. I think this is a result of two things -
1.) my tolerance of poor behavior
2.) my children being children
I know I am not a perfect parent and am far from it. I know it is difficult for everyone to look at their own weaknesses. Some people gossip, some people are prideful, some boast, etc. For me I feel I snap at my kids. My level of tolerance evaporates as I immediately skip to the end and share my thoughts leaving my kids feeling unheard. "You don't listen" is a common phrase I have heard so I am taking a step back and learning how to parent again. I feel like I am in parenting 101 now that my children are in their teen years. I feel like everything I have learned over the past years is not much use when talking to a person who already believes they understand things.
On that note - I have more gray hair coming in. I feel I have earned every one.
