Here we are - New Years Eve... The older kids are out and Ammon is determined to stay up until the new year comes in. Claire went to bed and I am emotionally drained. Samantha is watching a show and I am typing away. I know this may sound odd but at times the monotony of life is such that it will put me to sleep. Sometimes I get busy with work or cleaning or random things to take my mind off of reality. I think that is because life is hard sometimes. Life is tough and requires active participation and sometimes I think we all just want a break. I was talking to Samantha the other day on this subject and it just has been on my mind. Anyway - changing subjects- Madilyn's Christmas gift of some wireless earphones have died. I guess that is what you get for not purchasing genuine Apple products. So - the returns have begun.
I'm enjoying my time off for the holidays and will return to work on Wednesday. It has been good to have a break. I think everyone needs a break from time to time.
That is it for today.
Monday, December 31, 2018
Sunday, December 30, 2018
30 December 2018 (4 years and 10 days after The Day)
It is Sunday. Sunday seems to be a draining day for me. It is snowing outside. Our house is just cold. I hate that feeling. The kids are hyper and I am just ready for bed. We had a chicken and dumplings meal that is soooo appropriate for the weather. It helped to heat me to the core.
The kids are busy doing chores after eating and I have a moment to sit down and type. I went for a walk last night and this morning I awoke not so sore. I would like to go for a walk tonight but not when it is snowing. Our street is sloped and my luck would have me sliding down the street so I am trying to think of ways of exercising when it is cold outside. My desire to work out just supersedes my desire to eat something sweet.
Claire came up to me while I was typing so we took a picture.
The kids are busy doing chores after eating and I have a moment to sit down and type. I went for a walk last night and this morning I awoke not so sore. I would like to go for a walk tonight but not when it is snowing. Our street is sloped and my luck would have me sliding down the street so I am trying to think of ways of exercising when it is cold outside. My desire to work out just supersedes my desire to eat something sweet.
Claire came up to me while I was typing so we took a picture.
Claire is asking me to put on a cartoon on Youtube so she can watch it. So - this is a short entry.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
29 December 2018 (4 years and 9 days after The Day)
So today I went to see Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse with the older kids. It was a cute movie. I went for a walk tonight. A long hour-long walk. I'm tired. How lame is this for an entry. Well - at least it is an entry.
Here is the deep-thought of the day. Do you ever wish you had the exact right thing to say at a time that what you say matters but instead you screw it up? Well - that is me today. I think we all have trigger words. For me it is the phrase "you do realize" Can I just be the person to say THAT is not how a question is started. Please start with the basic Who, What, When, Where, and Why for a question. When someone phrases a "question" by starting off saying "you do realize" in my opinion they are NOT trying to ask a question but rather trying to establish their superiority and your inferiority in such a way that it embarrasses you. I am thrust back to my childhood when my dad would phrase questions like this to me. So - fast forward to today and I snapped at one of my children when they used that phrase and things just went south. I apologized for snapping to the child that said this but I still felt the same feelings I did 30+ years ago when my dad would use that phrase on me. I hate it. I hate the feeling of someone being domineering. So - suffice it to say my dad and I were not very close. I guess at some point in time we all have things that trigger us from our life experiences. For me I strive to be able to handle myself in every situation. I guess I failed today.
On that note I will start tomorrow anew.
Here is the deep-thought of the day. Do you ever wish you had the exact right thing to say at a time that what you say matters but instead you screw it up? Well - that is me today. I think we all have trigger words. For me it is the phrase "you do realize" Can I just be the person to say THAT is not how a question is started. Please start with the basic Who, What, When, Where, and Why for a question. When someone phrases a "question" by starting off saying "you do realize" in my opinion they are NOT trying to ask a question but rather trying to establish their superiority and your inferiority in such a way that it embarrasses you. I am thrust back to my childhood when my dad would phrase questions like this to me. So - fast forward to today and I snapped at one of my children when they used that phrase and things just went south. I apologized for snapping to the child that said this but I still felt the same feelings I did 30+ years ago when my dad would use that phrase on me. I hate it. I hate the feeling of someone being domineering. So - suffice it to say my dad and I were not very close. I guess at some point in time we all have things that trigger us from our life experiences. For me I strive to be able to handle myself in every situation. I guess I failed today.
On that note I will start tomorrow anew.
Friday, December 28, 2018
28 December 2018 (4 years and 8 days after The Day)
Today I ended up just doing a lot of cleaning. I woke up and we had about 2-3 inches of snow. I shoveled the driveway and cleaned up a bit outside. Then I ended up cleaning the house for the rest of the day. I'm sure that is not very exciting to read but it is what happened. Samantha and I ran some errands and then this evening we took a moment and went to grab a shake from a burger joint here called JCW's. It was really good. I haven't had a shake in forever so it was a real treat. We got a chance to talk and have a moment without the kids. It was nice. Earlier today I replaced the bulb in the lava lamp that Ammon got for Christmas. The bulb had broken so it took some searching to find the right kind. Anyway- we let it run and he was all smiles to see the bubbling magic of a lava lamp. That made me smile.
So - this is odd seeing that the new year is so close. It seems like I am just getting accustomed to writing 2018 and now that year is over. The one thing I am looking forward to is watching the fireworks here. People in Utah are crazy about fireworks and there are some good places to watch them but who am I kidding - I'm not staying up to midnight. Nope. I will go to sleep at a normal hour. Oh well... the thought was nice.
I've been thinking of why people in general are dishonest to each other. They may pretend to be a certain way or tell falsehoods to give the appearance of something else. I often wonder how things would be if there was no possible way of lying. I imagine what life would be like in a world where you could immediately tell what the truth was before a person could say anything. I would imagine that life would be very different. How many times are people dishonest with each other in a single day? I would imagine it is more than we think. Even the most simple - "How are you today?" question that one responds "Fine" when in reality "Fine" is the last thing you really feel. When someone says "Fine" and you know it isn't how many times do we just keep on walking without skipping a beat even when we know that "Fine" is not really how they feel. Perhaps it is because we don't want to dive into the details with them or perhaps as the person who says "fine" we say it because we don't want to share everything. I suppose the point of this rambling is we say "fine" but I think we may be shocked to know just how many other people feel the same as you when you say "fine". I think we could really comfort each other if we were completely honest. Anyway - as Jan would say "deep thoughts by Rob".
I'm off to bed.
So - this is odd seeing that the new year is so close. It seems like I am just getting accustomed to writing 2018 and now that year is over. The one thing I am looking forward to is watching the fireworks here. People in Utah are crazy about fireworks and there are some good places to watch them but who am I kidding - I'm not staying up to midnight. Nope. I will go to sleep at a normal hour. Oh well... the thought was nice.
I've been thinking of why people in general are dishonest to each other. They may pretend to be a certain way or tell falsehoods to give the appearance of something else. I often wonder how things would be if there was no possible way of lying. I imagine what life would be like in a world where you could immediately tell what the truth was before a person could say anything. I would imagine that life would be very different. How many times are people dishonest with each other in a single day? I would imagine it is more than we think. Even the most simple - "How are you today?" question that one responds "Fine" when in reality "Fine" is the last thing you really feel. When someone says "Fine" and you know it isn't how many times do we just keep on walking without skipping a beat even when we know that "Fine" is not really how they feel. Perhaps it is because we don't want to dive into the details with them or perhaps as the person who says "fine" we say it because we don't want to share everything. I suppose the point of this rambling is we say "fine" but I think we may be shocked to know just how many other people feel the same as you when you say "fine". I think we could really comfort each other if we were completely honest. Anyway - as Jan would say "deep thoughts by Rob".
I'm off to bed.
Thursday, December 27, 2018
27 December 2018 (4 years and 7 days after The Day)
Last night I decided to go to the gym. I was so tired of not working out and eating because of the holidays that I knew I needed to get to the gym. I got dressed and drove to the gym and then realized the gym was closed. I came back home determined to do something. I went for a walk. I decided to just walk and walk and walk. I wanted to walk until I actually got tired. I think when I was done I was nearly at 10K steps. I came home and collapsed on the sofa watching the end of Julie and Julia and then the documentary on Stephen Hawking. After that I had difficulty walking. I knew when I woke up today it would be bad. I put on some icy/hot type of stuff and went to bed.
Today began with me not being able to walk well when I got up. Luckily that wore off after an hour. Mid-morning I went with my father-in-law to use a tow-rope to get Dylan's car to the shop. When we got to the car and pushed it out I realized that there was no place under the car to hook a tow-rope so we ended up calling a tow truck. When I got back home the internet was acting up. I find it frustrating when I am unable to fix a technology issue. I diagnosed it to a DNS issue and long-story short after going through 2 different routers and contacting the provider I am left with an issue that I cannot fix but I have diagnosed it as a vendor issue. So until they fix the portion on their side I am left with internet circuit that is temperamental. I spent the remainder of the day cleaning the house.
All the kids ended up going in different directions. Samantha and I took Emma and Claire to have a hamburger and came back to the house. I'm tired and feel like I didn't get much done today.
Perhaps tomorrow will be more productive.
Today began with me not being able to walk well when I got up. Luckily that wore off after an hour. Mid-morning I went with my father-in-law to use a tow-rope to get Dylan's car to the shop. When we got to the car and pushed it out I realized that there was no place under the car to hook a tow-rope so we ended up calling a tow truck. When I got back home the internet was acting up. I find it frustrating when I am unable to fix a technology issue. I diagnosed it to a DNS issue and long-story short after going through 2 different routers and contacting the provider I am left with an issue that I cannot fix but I have diagnosed it as a vendor issue. So until they fix the portion on their side I am left with internet circuit that is temperamental. I spent the remainder of the day cleaning the house.
All the kids ended up going in different directions. Samantha and I took Emma and Claire to have a hamburger and came back to the house. I'm tired and feel like I didn't get much done today.
Perhaps tomorrow will be more productive.
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
26 December 2018 (4 years and 6 days after The Day)
So four years ago I was burying my wife. I have vivid memories of that time. It seems like a different life since then. I know things moved swiftly after her death and I am glad they did. I feel my kids and I am in a better place. I still hate that memory. I still have anger when I think on everything.
My sister got me an Amazon Echo. After some serious frustrations in getting it setup it has become a point of amusement to all. Since then it seems everyone (including myself) are asking the most mundane questions "Alexa - what is the weather?, Alexa - what do you think of Siri?, Alexa - Do you send your data to the government?, etc." The best so far is when I asked her how she can tell between right and wrong... her response... "Hmm. I don't know about that." This reminds me of the homeschooling Jan and I were involved in with our kids. We used a "Thomas Jefferson Education" or TJEd for short. In this curriculum it is essentially broken into three phases - Core, Love of Learning, and Scholar. The point of the Core phase is to instill ethics into the student before they learn anything. The Love of Learning phase is to instill a love of learning that will enable the learner to enjoy learning and make it a life-long endeavor. Scholar phase is for deep diving into some curriculum. I'm not talking about studying for a research paper but rather a deeper dive into everything and anything about the subject matter.
Anyway - ethics seems to be a missing important key to lots of political and social media discussions. Alexa reminds me of what you get with technology without any ethics learning. So - from someone who deals with artificial intelligence (AI) at work I am intrigued at what the Amazon Echo can help with as well as what it could hurt. I'm also interested in learning how to train AI technology with ethics since AI technology will likely replace much of what is repeatable. I mean - you know the phrase "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime" right? The point of why this is important is what AI I believe has to yet learn. It can repeat tasks and tell how to tell what step to do next but I don't think it is yet at the point of being able to tell if it should do a certain task because of an ethical conflict. Anyway - that being said - Amazon Echo is something that is fascinating to me.
Emma and Spencer are heading up North this afternoon. I am going to run some errands with Samantha and life is getting back to normal.
Perhaps more later -
My sister got me an Amazon Echo. After some serious frustrations in getting it setup it has become a point of amusement to all. Since then it seems everyone (including myself) are asking the most mundane questions "Alexa - what is the weather?, Alexa - what do you think of Siri?, Alexa - Do you send your data to the government?, etc." The best so far is when I asked her how she can tell between right and wrong... her response... "Hmm. I don't know about that." This reminds me of the homeschooling Jan and I were involved in with our kids. We used a "Thomas Jefferson Education" or TJEd for short. In this curriculum it is essentially broken into three phases - Core, Love of Learning, and Scholar. The point of the Core phase is to instill ethics into the student before they learn anything. The Love of Learning phase is to instill a love of learning that will enable the learner to enjoy learning and make it a life-long endeavor. Scholar phase is for deep diving into some curriculum. I'm not talking about studying for a research paper but rather a deeper dive into everything and anything about the subject matter.
Anyway - ethics seems to be a missing important key to lots of political and social media discussions. Alexa reminds me of what you get with technology without any ethics learning. So - from someone who deals with artificial intelligence (AI) at work I am intrigued at what the Amazon Echo can help with as well as what it could hurt. I'm also interested in learning how to train AI technology with ethics since AI technology will likely replace much of what is repeatable. I mean - you know the phrase "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime" right? The point of why this is important is what AI I believe has to yet learn. It can repeat tasks and tell how to tell what step to do next but I don't think it is yet at the point of being able to tell if it should do a certain task because of an ethical conflict. Anyway - that being said - Amazon Echo is something that is fascinating to me.
Emma and Spencer are heading up North this afternoon. I am going to run some errands with Samantha and life is getting back to normal.
Perhaps more later -
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
25 December 2018 (4 years and 5 days after The Day)
Christmas day - after a fun time getting everyone up presents opened the mood has settled back down to normal and I think Samantha and I are pooped. We are both in bed at the moment. Nap time comes early on Christmas day!
One of the gifts Samantha worked on throughout the year were memory quilts for both Justin and Jan. Here are the pics with the kids.
On the back of each of these quilts were pictures of the kids with their mom/dad. For Claire's it is pictures of me and Jan.
One of the gifts Samantha worked on throughout the year were memory quilts for both Justin and Jan. Here are the pics with the kids.
On the back of each of these quilts were pictures of the kids with their mom/dad. For Claire's it is pictures of me and Jan.
Needless to day there were tears of happiness. I felt as if both Jan and Justin were here in the house with us. It was a sweet spirit as they all opened their quilts.
Well - there will be more later -
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