I watched the movie The Other Side of Heaven. It is good. It reminded me of my time serving people in California. Service of others is how one changes inside. I learned that then and I was reminded of that when Jan died. Tonight, Claire wanted a story after Samantha put her in bed. Samantha asked that I pop in and give her a kiss goodnight. I walked into her dark room and leaned down to give her a hug and a kiss. I pulled the covers up tight and tucked her in like a burrito. She was laughing. She wiggled free and threw her arms around me and said "I love you, Daddy. Can you read me story of the monkey?" I got the Curious George book that has a collection of tales and she picked a story. I read her the story and then gave her a kiss. She asked "Daddy, can you nuggle me?" (snuggle). I just hugged her and wept. I don't know why. I just felt like this little kid is just so sweet and innocent. I felt so privileged to be her father. She was concerned that I was crying and wanted to comfort me. I felt silly for being weepy but for some reason I was.
A few days ago Samantha and I talked about how it would be a good idea to talk to the kids about finances. Many are working for extra cash and we wanted them to ensure they were all on the same page with what is expected financially of them after high school. Today at dinner, Samantha and I spoke to the kids about the importance of financial independence and how it was important to save and discipline yourself today for unexpected bad weather in the future. We tried to paint the picture of how life gets tougher when you get in college, then get married, then have kids, all the while working to make ends meet. It is helpful when you have the opportunity to learn the hard lesson of financial discipline when you are young and still living at home. We encouraged them to save 50%, pay 10% in a tithe, and keep 40% for spendable cash. Disciplining yourself now is always easier than having to make a decision later on what you really believe when times get tough.
I'm struggling when talking with our youth that are teens. They have partially progressed from dependence to independence. They want to be independent but still have some growing to do. I find correcting these youth has to be done with care. At times I feel I approach these problems as tactfully as a brain surgeon and at other times I feel like a bull in a china shop. I just want my children to grow empowered to be their very best - to be good people who serve others. I may suck as a dad but I am trying. Sometimes I feel that just isn't good enough. I suppose every parent feels this way at times.
