8 April 2017 (2 yrs 112 days after The Day)

So I guess I kinda suck at keeping up with this blog.  At the time that I started it was used in an attempt to keep those that wanted to know what was going on updated.  It then turned into a place for me to write down my thoughts and begin to understand my feelings.  Once I felt like I was on my feet again I slipped back into just living life.  I feel I have done myself a disservice by not writing down my thoughts.  After all - how many times do we hear stories from our kids and we honestly don't remember it.  I swear that is my life.  So again - I will give it a go to keep up with this blog.

So - much has happened since the last entry.  I have had some growing experiences with all the kids.  Some are more receptive to change than others.  Ammon wrote thank you notes to everyone.  He did this on his own.  It was very touching.  I swear that kid has such a kind heart.

The adjustment to this location is starting to settle in.  I know it sounds weird since I have lived here for as long as I have but I am starting to call this place home.  I am looking at the entire family (both biological and extended) as one.  This has helped me to adjust.  I still have sad moments.  Today was a sad day for me.  I don't know what triggered everything but I just was a little down.  I took Madilyn early this morning to eat donuts and that was a fun experience.  I am making time to not only go on daddy/(son/daughter) dates but also to have a date night with Samantha.  We went to dinner and then bowling... which was a bit interesting because of my knee... ok - need to fill you in on that.

Last weekend I smoked a bunch of BBQ and it turned out nice.

We had a bunch of Samantha's side of the family over.  It was good to visit with lots of people.  Afterwards the boys were playing baseball in the back yard with various yard objects as bases.  They invited me to play and I weighed the options ... and decided to go ahead and play.  The grass was a little wet and after about 30 min of playing I ended up slipping on the grass and injured my knee .... again.  So, I always hate that moment when you are injured and everyone tries to help and you are just a pathetic pile on the floor.  I decided I was going to smile and laugh.  It was a silly moment of excruciating pain.  The first thing I asked was if I landed in dog poop.  I think everyone knows THAT would make any injury worse.  Luckily I hadn't.  I was able to get up and hobble to the bed where I got some ice and tried to get the swelling to lessen.... so bowling a week later was more like slow pitch softball than bowling.  I find that I get a better score if I chuck the ball 1/4 of the way down the lane.  Anyway - we had a good date.

So - yes - I am settling into this new normal... yet I have times of sadness.  Today was a bit of sadness.