17 Jan 2016 (1 yr 31 days after The Day)

This last week there was quite a bit of activity.  My stepson got his learners permit which will bring the children drivers to 2.  My stepdaughter got accepted to the college of her choice and will be leaving in the Fall.  It is crazy how time flies.  Claire has learned how to walk.  She is a little wobbly but she is doing it.

I am getting a huge project finally deployed at work.  It has taken months to get this far and it is encouraging to be making this progress.  Samantha and I have looked at houses.  It is just a challenge to get a home to fit 7 kids and a piano.  We met with a builder that is building homes to find out if we can get one of their standard builds altered to fit our needs.  I honestly think that is the easier path.

I've thought on Jan over the last few weeks.  I have thought about how Claire will grow up and how she will hear stories from me, Emma, Madilyn, and Ammon about Jan but how most of Jan's friends are in Texas.  It is good there is other family here so she can talk with them and learn of her birth mom later in life.

Sometimes I look at my life and think - wow.  This is so crazy.  Who expects that they will deal with something like unexpected death?  Nobody.  It is amazing how quickly your life can get turned upside down with such an event and I am grateful for how everything has turned out.  Samantha is a wonderful mom to my kids and a good support and help mate to me.  I feel very thankful. 

03 Jan 2016 (1 yr 14 days after The Day)

Sickness has gone throughout the house.  I have been battling Step Throat.  Yea!  This has placed an extra burden upon Samantha and the dynamics of our children have come out.  It has made disciplining our children a little difficult because well... it is new.  I want to spend time with each so we can have a closer bond.  Blending challenges are normal I suppose but I am trying to get my mind wrapped around how to do this the best way.  It is easy to say "my children" or "your children"... but in fact they really are "our children".  Both Samantha and I are in this for the long-haul so keeping things separated seems a bit silly.  I can imagine it will take a year or so for everyone to get comfortable with each other.

In a silly way - the blending began when I took down the Christmas tree.  I mixed the ornaments ... both of our ornaments went into a tote bin together. 

I love all my kids.  They really are great and amazing children.  They have lived through hell.  All of the children know what it is like to loose a mother or father.  They have taught me volumes.  Claire is kind of the glue between the families.  She has a very strong connection to me and has since the beginning.  She is building a relationship with Samantha -  Claire has called her "mama" and me "dada"... it is sweet.