I first met Jan in
the 7th grade band. I was playing saxophone and she was
playing clarinet. She gives me a very hard time about this story
every time I share it and because she is not here to dispute my side,
I will be loyal to her side of the story. Her side of the story is
that I was flirting with the girl in front of her and was not looking
at Jan. (note: I disagree with this) We both ended up going to
Bellaire High School where we were both active in band. We were both
competitive and went to solo and ensemble and state competitions. I
interacted more and more with her. Her Junior year she earned the
right to be Assistant Drum Major and then Drum Major her Senior year.
I was the President. We ended up working closely together. I was
very intimidated by Jan. She was beautiful and seriously smart. You
know those kids in school that don't ever get a 'b'? Well... that
was Jan. She could excel at anything. I found out later her trick
to this which made me look at her a bit different. You see … she
had a photographic memory. A little trick she kept in her back
pocket. She studied as hard as the next kid but if she was ever
tripped up on a question she could recall the area in the book with
the content in question and see the words as if she was reading the
book. So anyway... I didn't know this. I just thought she memorized
everything and was mentally untouchable. She would hangout with me
and some of my friends before school and I got to know her. By the
time homecoming came around I had a crush on her and was way too
intimidated to ask her. I am a big chicken. She was super cute and
super smart. I was in no advanced classes except for English and
basically didn't think I'd have a chance. Anyway... my home was
located across the street from the High School. One day after school
I was walking through the living room and I noticed that she and a
friend were standing across the street from my home. I didn't want
to pass up the opportunity to perhaps talk with her even though I was
very scared. I went outside to “work” on my truck. I opened the
garage and popped the hood. I proceeded to act busy and her friend
coaxed her to come and talk with me. She asked me to
homecoming. I acted like it was no big deal. From her side she
recalls she was sweating bullets because apparently the crush was
mutual. Anyway we went to homecoming. I had just broken up with a
girl and was very committed to being extremely honest. Painfully
honest. We sat at a table and started our first of many
conversations. She told me all about all her daily activities. She
was in seminary and band and volleyball and basketball and choir and
so on and so on. These activities consumed nearly 100% of every
minute of every day and were very organized. She then asked me what
I do after school. I responded “I sit on the couch and watch TV”.
She was taken aback from this but later in life said it impressed
her more than anything anyone had ever said to her. The brutal
honesty was exactly what she was looking for.
We both ended up going to Texas Tech (by accident) and we continued
our courting. I left for a couple of years on a mission to
California and when I returned I was certain that Jan would be
married. I was positive that she would have moved on with a husband
and kids. She had dated other guys and come to an understanding that
she wanted to explore where our relationship was when I returned. I
have to thank her parents for this. They were big cheerleaders for
me in my absence. Anyway, she and I went on a date shortly after I
arrived back home and.... We were married about 6 weeks later.
Jan's
voice was absolutely angelic. She got compliments every time she
sang and often was asked if she was a professional singer. I
included her singing a song in the presentation of her life in the
Relief Society room. So if you wondered, yes, that was her singing.
That was before all of her vocal coaching and study but the song was
sweet and applicable for today. She knew if she went the route of a
professional singer she would need to sacrifice time with her family
which she did not want to do. She studied music theory, music
composition, music performance, and English. She had inventive ways
of teaching kids music. I recall her teaching an ADHD child to sing
a song by hopping on one foot. He was successful. She taught a
little girl with physical disabilities and tone deaf to listen, sing,
and perform. To do this she helped her overcome her feelings of
inadequacy with her disabilities. She sang in the Texas Tech
University Choir and stunned those in attendance as she sounded
better than many in the advanced choir. She wasn't a performance
major and this was mind boggling to the Choir directors and students
there. It is as if Babe Ruth came as a walk-on player from nowhere
to “just hit some balls” and left the crowd speechless. I told
her she could sing me to sleep every night of my life. Besides
singing she could play the clarinet, piano, and violin. She took up
the violin with the desire to play a song with her brother, Tom, as
he was learning to play the Cello. Jan gave Tom a hard time as he
would casually play something on the piano Jan worked months to
perfect. Jan's type 'A' personality brought a comical scene when
she relished the moment that Tom had trouble playing the violin. Tom
and Jan were close. She enjoyed playing the piano and singing with
her family. She had nearly all the broadway shows tunes memorized.
Our
daughter Emma was born in 2002 and we graduated shortly afterward and
relocated to Houston. During our time in college and directly
afterward Jan was actively involved in selling Mary Kay Cosmetics.
She enjoyed helping women to better their lives.
Jan
was very committed to homeschooling our kids. At the time she didn't
know what to do or how to do this but she was absolutely driven to do
this. This was an inward call that shaped her very core from
apparently an early age as she made the decision to homeschool her
kids before she was married. In 2004 our second daughter Madilyn was
born. While in Houston Jan was able to spend time with her older
sister Michelle. Michelle and Jan were very close and Michelle was
like a mother to her because of the age difference between them.
They both enjoyed scrap booking and stamping and our kids played with
hers. When Michelle died of breast cancer in 2006 this was very hard
on Jan. Our son Ammon was born in 2008 and in 2009 my job moved me
North again and we settled in Arlington, TX.
During
our time here in Arlington Jan became very involved in the
homeschooling community and took our kids to various functions. She
had all kinds of curriculum for our kids. Singapore Math to Teaching
Textbooks. From Son Light to Montessori. Her exposure to all these
curriculums had her tasting from the buffet of schooling curriculum
that exist for the homeschooled child. She read the book A
Thomas Jefferson Education
and this book was like a magic key. This book resonated so closely
with Jan that it connected the dots of the inward drive mentioned
earlier. She was driven to further this type of teaching. To
inspire kids and adults to learn and grow by self-driven education
for the promotion of a free society. This is the basis of the Book
of Mormon scripture on the back of your program. Jan read broad and
deep. She and I would debate on many topics and she was genuinely
interested in different points of view. In 2014 she founded
Arlington Liber Academy. She was committed to have broad viewpoints
welcoming of all religions and faiths (including non faiths) to
ensure learning was well rounded by all who attended. She
established a book club for adults and hosted speakers to come in and
lecture. We attended conferences together and our love of learning
flourished.
She
had this nagging feeling that we should have one more child. This
feeling could not be shaken. During pregnancy she was literally a
changed woman. All other pregnancies left her nearly bedridden with
nausea. This pregnancy was different. She was nauseous but could
function. Then about 3 months ago the nausea completely left. She
was tired but she could get things done. We enjoyed spending time on
weekends together and while her energy level decreased as the
pregnancy progressed it is time I value more than anything. We went
for walks. We went to dinner. We talked. Jan is my best friend.
She was my listening ear and council for challenges at work and with
the kids. We planned for Emma's artistic skills, Madilyn's soccer,
and Ammon's Tae Kwon Do. She was a listening ear to Emma. She
welcomed foot massages by Madilyn. She enjoyed cuddling with Ammon.
We all miss her. We laughed together as a family when watching the
BYU TV program 'Studio C'. Her laugh was infectious as was her
smile. She assisted many and went through the fire with some of her
personal trials with family. The clarity
she received from these trials, the clarity (truth) she sought after
daily, and the clarity she desired to manifest in her life actions is
what led to our child's name Claire. Claire Michelle Weaver's name
embodies what Jan holds sacred. This talk is my sad attempt at
sharing a portion of Jan's life and after reading and re-reading it I
feel it does not adequately capture Jan. For those that knew her
best I hope you share your stories with others. As we celebrate her
life let's not forget that God has a bigger plan for us than this
life. Jan lives. I look forward to embracing her again when my time
is up.
Before
I close, I have one request for all that hear these words. If you
have a personal memory of Jan, please write it down and mail it to
me. I am collecting this to share with my children and future
grandchildren. It is always good to hear experiences from other
sources. Thank you for your love and support. I cannot express how
humbled I have been because of the outpouring of love. May the Lord
bless each of you.
In
the name of Jesus Christ – Amen.
